Last week when I wrote about the “corners and edges,” people seemed confused. Well, ok, they were confused. What happened is that my officemates and I were talking about holding a meeting on a Wednesday night. One woman said, “Oh no, I can’t. My husband and I do the centers that night.” Everyone looked at her like she was a freak so she explained that when they vacuum, they do the middle of the rugs midweek and save the corners and edges for Sundays. Everyone still looked at her like she was a freak, but she didn’t mind. Normally I’d applaud that; in this case, not so much.
Chuck’s best friend’s brother is getting married. He borrowed our camera at Junior’s first birthday party and took this picture:
I’m thinking of making it into a card for his fiancée that reads: Congratulations on your engagement / Looks like your wedding night’s gonna be a big, fat disappointment. But maybe she already knows that.
We’ve been feeding our obese cat less and he’s pissed. At 5:30 a.m. he runs up and down the stairs making a noise that’s something between a meow and “I hate you!” One of these days Chuck’s going to come home to find that cat mounted on the wall.
Junior ate a sandwich by himself. I don't know why this seems like such a milestone, but it felt like I was watching a real, little person accomplish a grown-up task. There wasn't a line in his baby book for "ate first sandwich" so I'm documenting it here. Thank God.
I forgot about springtime gnats. They're right up there with Celine Dion and Kathy Lee Gifford.
That hippie chick hasn't called me. It's probably better this way. I forgot to mention that her kid was wrapped up in a wool blanket, and I don't hang with people who wear wool. I prefer people who put mini carrots in their pants and who have strategical plans for maintaining their area rugs. Snap!
(Keely, I actually waited until Tuesday this week. Does this mean we're un-broken up?)
28 comments:
Maybe your BIL wanted to be Frosty the Snowman, but was forced to lower his goal (and his carrot).
"centers and edges" - i love it!
I make my stepson do those cause I can't stand doing them. That's what teenage boys are for, right?!
"...making a noise that’s something between a meow and “I hate you!”" Hilarious! And sorry. He'll get over it. Maybe.
I feel for your kitty. We have a big-boned (I refuse to use the term obese) cat whom I would love to put on a diet. I am considering moving the cat food to someplace where he can't reach until he loses a little weight.
Nice weiner! I would be braggin too ;) By the by, was it me or did your link on Keely's page go to an old post from last year?
Winner...you should send that note to your friend. Save her the disappointment down the road. Whatever happened to Kathy Lee anyway?
Wow. Some poor girl thinks the guy who took that picture is a good catch? Scary.
I like a woman who won't plan a meeting around her vacuuming schedule. NOT. But it's funny.
Oh and as for the cat? Now that's FUNNY.
I say send the card with the photo. That would be hilarious.
I know what you mean with the cat only it is with our dog. And to get back he keeps getting up and down at night from our bed and making us move again and again and again. When we go to work all exhausted and miserable he curls up in our bed and I swear I see him smirk.
Love your randomness this week!
Oh that's funny! Your co-worker is a Flybaby, I bet!
The pic is funny! that fellow has a sense of humor like my 57 year old brother... juvenile!
LOL about the gnats and those women! I hear ya!
That vacuuming thing is one of the weirdest things ever.
Of course, I don't vacuum until I can see visible clumps and dust and lint, so I shouldn't talk.
Centers and edges, she must be a romantic.
I know what you mean about the sandwich, when my son ate his first cheeseburger I was ecstatic. It was short lived though, these days he prefers to dissect it, toss the meat and eat the top half of the bun.
that photo and quote are pretty funny - I almost choked on my coffee!
Wow...thanks for clearning that up, because that's totally not what I thought "doing the centers and edges" was about...it's actually probably best I keep what I thought that was to myself...for the best of everyone and the general public as a whole...
Watch out, that's how people end up getting tripped, killed and eaten by their cats. Seriously, I saw it on Dateline.
Holy crap, I needed that laugh. We need to meet.
I like the carpet vacuum idea, although it also seems a tad strange and scary to me.
As for the baby carrot in the pants, I always say better something than nothing...or is it.
I don't think I could split up the vacuuming like that...my OCD wouldn't allow only a 'partial vacuum'... :)
"...making a noise that’s something between a meow and “I hate you!” Our cat does the same thing! And we haven't even put him on a diet...he just thinks we don't feed him enough... (snicker!)
It is a big deal with the little one's eat a whole sandwich - baby books really do need add that... ;)
Great comparison on springtime gnats...I agree! ;)
Thanks for having Mr. Linky send me to an older post - that was a good one, too! (grin!)
Happy Random Tuesday! :)
Nobody likes a starving fat pissed off cat.
We visited my parents this weekend and on the drive down there were so many bugs it sounded like it was raining. I hate bugs.
You should film the fat furball making that noise. I think I've heard something similar from the squirrels outside my window.
Oh yeah, I know that type. We had cameras on all of the tables at our wedding and got back some pretty interesting pictures of people groping statues.
I think BIL's friend should put that picture on the actual wedding invitation...classy! :)
What if the edges look REALLY crappy on, say, a Wednesday? Does she still have to wait until Sunday, or does she go buck wild and vacuum them early?
Report back.
umm.. looks like she didn't do the test run!!
Congrats on the prolific sandwich eater!!
That woman with the rugs is bat-shit crazy. But it made me laugh out loud so that's cool. You meet the funniest people.
Wow, does your brain ever turn off? I can't imagine all that goes through your brain.....okay maybe I can relate a little.
When people share unusual habits, it means they are comfortable with you...doesn't make you more comfortable though, does it?
Oh yes, please do send that card!! It made my day - I'm sure it will make hers too!
Maybe not?
Thank you for explaining that whole doing the centers thing. I was really confused but hey, it's Mulletville and, well, you know. What a freak. Not that she does the center of the rug one night and the corners the other but that she vacuums with her husband. I guess he's the freak. Geez, does it really take two people to vacuum?
Have you a garage you can lock the cat in? I have banned my felines from the house during sleeping hours. Otherwise THE ARE TOTAL ASS H****!!
So very entertained by you. I had to follow you immediately!!! I do hope you'll follow me too. Just realize that I'm not near as funny as you. I should really get my family some improv lessons or something, damn slackers, lol!
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