Let’s take a break from Chuck’s hiney, shall we? I know I could use a break.
Let’s talk instead about how when Mother Nature blesses New England with a nice day like yesterday you freak the hell out because you don’t know what to do to maximize every possible second of niceness.
From the moment you awake, you drive your immobile husband crazy with questions. Should you take Junior hiking? Biking? Walking? Window shopping? Strolling? Sprinkler jumping?
The real bitch is that every second spent deliberating about what to do with the one nice day is a second of time you could have been outdoors gone. So you start speeding up your questions to your immobile husband, who at that point knows exactly where he’d like to tell you to go, but he knows that you’ve been waiting on him for more than a week and that if he ever wants to eat or show someone his battle wounds again he better grin and bear it.
I decided on the beach.
As I was leaving, I turned wistfully to Chuck and said, “I need a friend in Mulletville. Like, now.”
Do you know what? As Junior and I slid down the cliff that is our front lawn, a woman who was walking down the sidewalk with her baby stopped and called hello. And she was cute! She was wearing straight-legged jeans with a patch on the butt; she had a ponytail with bangs. She kept smiling at me—Mrs. Yuppy Sweater (I’ve always secretly aspired to be a cool hippie chick, but a) I own too many blouses and b) I’m not mellow enough to pull off mellow clothes.)
We shot the shit for a few minutes. When we were done, she asked if I ever wanted to go walking on the weekends, and we exchanged numbers.
She picked me up, and it happened fast.
But, um, now I don’t know what to do. There’s the whole awkward burgeoning friendship stage to muck through—while we’re winded no less (she had skinny legs so I’m guessing she’s going to speedwalk). And I’m a nervous blurter. And she seems so much cooler than I am. Not that I’m a dweeb, but I don’t do well around calm people I don’t know. I tend to want to verbally jab. It’s how Chuck and I met. I assaulted him with my diction. I still do.
I know. I’m looking the gift hippie chick in the mouth (she has all her teeth, by the way). But I can’t help it. I’m used to being hit on by copier repairmen.
Have you ever been picked up by another woman on the street? If you have, did you become friends? Or were you the picker-upper? And why, if the universe was handing out plates of What You Asked For, didn't I say to Chuck, "I need a shopping spree. Like, now"?
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26 comments:
Take a breath! Good lord woman slow down! It isn't as bad as a first date. You are plenty cool enough to keep up with yuppy chick, and I bet you won't get that winded! Just remember to breathe! In out in out.
Oh no, busted for being too tightly wound. In front of everyone! LOL. Thanks for the advice.
Just go with it. Who knows this could be the beginning to a great friendship. Just don't over analyze it. Take it for what it is, a weekend walking date....cool, casual, fun. Good luck and relax.
Start out your next conversation with her like this "So, I have this blog..."
Then she can run home and read it.
Problem solved! lol
Yes, I have been. She was a runner and I was not. She wanted a running partner and so I ran with her. Once.
I was once picked up by a woman on the street.
Turns out they charge money.
Oops, I forgot that part. She said something about $20 for the first 10 minutes?
Oh God, Mike! I laughed so hard I started choking!
wait till she gets to know that you have this blog... then she'll be the one with the inferiority complex!
She just liked you and your kid, just like you liked her! It happens and what good luck for you that it did! Enjoy!!
Take a step back, breathe, and tell yourself over and over again that you are special. Which you are. And the yuppy chick is not better than you. Just different.
SO, just check it out. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
Can't be worse than your first time having sex...or can it?
Oh dear lord, I'm nervous FOR you.
Don't drink too much first.
By the way, I am the yuppy chick. She's the hippie. Hippies don't get nervous and neurotic. Duh.
Chill out, it will be fine! Maybe don't ask her do shots or anything. At least on your first date.
Doesn't the old saying go "Be careful what you wish for because it just might come true." or is that just a verse from Daughtry? I just don't know anymore.
I think your hippie gal is a good thing. Let's just leave it at that.
Well don't go home with her until at least the third date.
Anything sooner might make you look desperate.
heh heh
Have I ever been picked up by a woman in the street?
Nope.
Oh, wait, when I was little my mum picked me up.
My walking partner lives across the street here, I picked her up. I also picked up my other girlfriend in NEngland by talking to her over our mutual fence. Her Previous neighbour though interviewed us before selling us the house so that they would have friends :)
I hadn't pictured you as a Yuppie. Now that I look back, I can see all the clues are there: the nickname of Mulletville for your town, the stay-at-home-Dad husband (and your job that permits that) and, no doubt, a host of other clues. So now I'm having to completely revise my mental landscape. Looks like another unproductive day in the office....
(BTW -- since you are a Yuppie, definitely pair up with Hippie Chick. It will broaden your horizons and provide much blog fodder.)
I hope you maximized the nice weather since it has been raining since then.
I am sure your new friend is not way cooler than you are (when did I start to sound like someone's mother). Talk to her the way you write. If she doesn't get it, you are way cooler than she.
I think you should go out to meet her for your first walk on a Segway. If she can handle that then she's cool!
Oh my gosh, I totally could have written this post. A neighbor friend of mine (it's been long enough that I can say the word "friend") is very calm, very quiet, and I am the one normally jabbering on and on while we walk. Or play at the park (or let the toddlers play .. you know.)
I'm sure she's just as psyched to have met you as you are! Enjoy, but take it slow. She might have a freak flag that she's not flying.
Go for a walk. You need a good walking friend. One that's not 3000 miles away!
Two of my closest friends are ones that I "picked up". :) I tend to be a chatty extrovert and need human company. I always think I'm the weird one for talking to anyone and everyone, but I've met more wonderful people than weird ones, LOL. Go for that walk. Who knows?
I so need to move to Mulletville... :)
I actually got picked up via Internet mommy forum before we moved down here...she left me her number and I definitely dialed and hung up a few times. And there was much nervous blurting on my end.
We did stay friends until she moved away last year though, so go for it! And re-freakin'-lax, woman. :-)
I've moved twice (far away) in my adult life and had to make friends. It sucks. But do it. Make it happen. Because? Nothing compares to having a posse of friends to call on when you need one.
My sister just moved (far away) for the first time in her adult life and is having a heck of a time making friends. She met one potential at the park, got her name and number, found out where she worked, and then GOOGLED the poor woman and you know how one click leads to another etc.? Well, my sister ended up with the notion that the cool park woman was married to a Republican and so there went that potential.
She ultimately joined some kind of bunko club, apparently one that screens out conservatives.
But hey, whatever works for you! Good luck : )
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