Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Dunkin Donuts man is my soulmate

Tonight, because I am a blogging foo-foo-fooool I'm trying something new. I'm trying Mama Kat's workshop, and I chose this prompt:

Why did you do it?


There are many, many reasons why I did it. I did it because I was bitter about the hospital gown with the warm air hose. Because even though I'd pointed out the similarities between Chuck's spinal anesthesia and my 27 epidurals to the nurses and doctors at the hospital, no one took the bait and let me tell my southern pain stories. Because tonight, after I'd done the dishes, churned the butter and knit four sweaters, Chuck said he only wanted one grilled cheese; after he ate it he said, "I sure could use another..." even though I'd offered to make two in the first place.

And mostly because life feels like this right now (without the thrilling sense of purpose that swoops in at the end):



So, like my father did with my cat when I was 11—the one who had an affinity for peeing on the couch—I took Chuck for a drive to a neighboring town and let him out at the corner. If Chuck somehow makes his way back, like poor Courage* did, I'll set out a plate of grilled cheeses for him.

* The cat was named Courage by my dad's at-the-time girlfriend, who volunteered at the animal shelter in town. She dubbed him that because she found him living at the town dump and when she called, "Here, kitty, kitty" he leaped across three oil drums, or something Evel Knievel-ish like that. The cat did find its way back to our neighborhood after the goodbye drive, but he decided he liked our neighbor, Gail, better. To this day, Gail still talks about her precious kitty. So you see, good things can happen to animals and/or people who are dropped off on random street corners. Trust me.

19 comments:

Pablo Guero said...

You fed him grilled cheese after THAT surgery?!? Doesn't cheese bind everything inside you like concrete?

Dto3 said...

Chuck's my Hero! I just hope he survives the night.

Unknown said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Angela said...

You are so much more creative than me! I would have just thrown the pan at him...

Joanie said...

Yeah. What Angela said...

Keely said...

Hm. I probably just would have ignored him, and turned up the music to drown out his screams.

I'm heartless like that.

Roshni said...

Be sure to have a warm litter box ready!
Honestly, did you milk the cows too?!

Suzi said...

Just remind him that you were cut open to have a little body extracted from your abdomen. Not an easy or fun recovery.

mo.stoneskin said...

As a British reader I love it that he is called Chuck and says "I sure could use another..." - so American-English, a great line!

kyooty said...

remember the man hurts! :)

Anonymous said...

I'll listen to your southern pain stories....spill it.

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

Poor, poor, Chuck!!!! I can only picture him waddling back home. . .twice as hungry!!!!!

Jeanne Estridge said...

Feed him a side of beans and see if he blows out his stitches. (In the interests of science.)

Stacy Uncorked said...

AHAHAHAHAHA! Too funny...I probably would have dropped him off at the corner, too... ;)

Christopher Jones said...

So, I should probably think twice about that "field trip" my girlfriend wants to take me on later today?

Anne said...

As I always tell my girls, you get what you get and you don't get upset. I am too unsympathetic to make a second grilled cheese. I think my husband would be afraid to ask :).

Mama Nut said...

Stopping by from Mamakat's ww...funny spin on 'why I did it"! You are a crack up...and BTW I LOVE your blog layout and header...

Leanne said...

The corner? Heck girl, you're too good. I would have left mine at the state line.

Hang in there...

KatBouska said...

I'm sure some loving and unsuspecting family would take Chuck in...

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