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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Personally, I think I'd look better over the fireplace

You know how I mentioned I’m a graphic designer? Well, because of my field—zee arts—I meet other artists from time to time at networking functions.

Blah, blah.

Yesterday, one of the painters I met asked if he could paint my portrait. Immediately I thought of that scene* from Titanic. You know that scene. Wretched Celine Dion popped into my head. I said I’d think about it.

When I got home I told Chuck that a well-known, respected and quasi famous artist wants to immortalize me on canvas. Chuck put down his beer and said, “So now you officially know you’re attractive.”

Oh, praise Jesus! I t’aint ugly! I’ve been wandering the planet for 34 years with an inkling that I might not be hideous, but now I wonder no more. And to think I missed the pageant circuit because I never knew The Truth.

“So I should do it?”

“Are you going to keep your clothes on?”

“Of course.”

"And you're not going to have an affair?"

"Of course not."

“Great. We’ll hang it over the couch.”

Apparently as soon as you officially find out you're attractive, you immediately turn into a hoebag.

*If you need a refresher, here’s the sorta-kinda scene. I have no idea why they ended the video the way they did, but they're a cute couple so I forgive them.

17 comments:

kyooty said...

I've never seen the movie. oops!

Gina said...

You should work it into your masthead somehow, so everyone else will know you are attractive (and not a hoebag)

Keely said...

Anyone I know of??

Rachel said...

Shit. Nobody's ever asked to paint me.

You ARE going to share a pic of the portrait, right?

Suzi said...

Never saw the movie. Yeah, above the fire place is a better spot than the couch.

Jennifer said...

If Mr. Mullet put down his beer, it must have been an important moment. :-)

blognut said...

Wow! Someone once offered to paint me, but they weren't making a picture. They actually wanted to put paint on my person.

Come to think of it, it was kinda fun.

Never mind.

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO@Chuck put down his beer!!! go for it...after you done with getting all painted send the artist my way he can paint me skinny!

mo.stoneskin said...

Will you put Celine on while you're being painted to capture the moment?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

hey cool! SO your Chuck was also picturing the Titanic scene in his mind!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I agree over the fireplace would be much more conducive to your beauty than over the couch... ;) That video was funny! :)

Otter Thomas said...

A husband of one of my wife's friends wanted to paint her. I didn't like the idea at first. I felt like Sam Malone when he and Dianne broke up because a famous artist played by Christopher Lloyd painted her. I thought I was in good company with good old Sam. I soon came to my senses and gave it my blessing. It is an amazing picture and hangs proudly in our home.

lizspin said...

And I thought I was the only one on the planet that hadn't seen titanic!

Makes me seasick!

Mary Anna said...

your free Snuggie will make it totally hot!

Mrsbear said...

Hawtness has its perks - immortality on canvas hung over a sofa. Now that's validation. ;) I love the video, the eyeball close ups cracked me up for some reason. I'm simple that way.

Jeanne said...

Always nice to get a pat on the ego....

Fragrant Liar said...

Okay, that was hysterical. What a coupla crazy kids.