Friday, April 24, 2009

I've plain old had it

Mrs. Mullet is in bad shape, my pets. I rolled the wrong way again in my sleep and pulled something in my neck. Perhaps Chuck and I should trade our haystack in for a proper mattress.

I went to an acupuncturist, who offered to help me disrobe then got pissy when I took my clothes off myself. Scuse me, but it’s not every day that a 50 year old woman wants to pull my socks off.

I got even by stealing a magazine from her waiting room.

The needle therapy didn’t work so I went to a chiropractor, who gave me one of these:


Oh, God, noooooooooooooooo.

And now Junior is pointing at it saying, “Hold it! Hold it!” cause he wants to wear it and Chuck can’t fend Junior off because Chuck’s at his follow up butt appointment.

Seriously, how we haven’t been nominated for the most glamorous couple of the year is beyond me.

Have a great weekend.

23 comments:

C.B. Jones said...

undressing people is the only real perk of becoming an acupuncturist. You totally ruined that ladies pointy high.

kyooty said...

ouch!!!b maybe a massage would work?

mo.stoneskin said...

I nominated you for most glamorous couple of the year and didn't get any thanks...

:(

Anne said...

Now you and Chuck can battle it out over who has it worse. Sounds like things are not going well right about now. Hopefully, things will look up this weekend. Rest and take care of your neck. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Kate said...

Oh that just sucks. maybe some morphine would help.

Liz said...

I'd gotten behind on my blog reading and clicked over here today to get caught up. I promise and vow to NEVER stop reading you again! I forgot how freakin' HILARIOUS you are! I'm at my desk at work, trying to hold in my belly laughs and giggles and guffaws- which may result in some pee, drool, and snot leaking out.

So thank you for that.

GreenJello said...

Get your doc to prescribe a muscle relaxant. LOL. Baclofen works wonders for those awful neck pains that won't go away!

Feel better soon.

feefifoto said...

Good Lord -- a neck brace in the summer is no fun at all. Hope you feel better soon.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Oh no. Awful. You need heavy meds, vodka and someone else to do all the chores for the next year...Get better soon!

blognut said...

That's a real purdy necklace ya' got there!

Suzi said...

I second that nomination to be "The Most Glamorous Couple" Hope you feel better soon!

The Mother said...

You can make that glamorous:
You need a bustier, a transparent shirt and a marking pen.

With a little imagination, you can be Queen Elizabeth I in one of her ruffs!

Okay, it might be a little oblique for Mulletville, but you're sure to get nods and smiles.

Frogs in my formula said...

Thank you, everyone, for your kind wishes and um, interesting suggestions. I hope you'll think of me as you enjoy a weekend of free neck movement.

Bastards!

Peggy said...

Haha...your commentors are so funny...morphine, muscle relaxers and vodka...I'll bet all three together would work like a charm! Feel better!

Rachel said...

Holy shit. I'm not kidding you, I'll be picturing you in that neck brace all weekend and laughing my ass off.

That made you feel better, right?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Oh you poor thing! Hopefully you've gotten a delivery of muscle relaxants and vodka to get you through the weekend... ;) Hope you feel better soon so you can be a pain in the neck instead of have one... ;)

Marinka said...

Oh you poor thing. And I can't believe that Mr. Mullet is trying to one up you like that! Feel better!

Lindy said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I suggest butt recovery man start paying back old recovery debts!!!

Julia said...

Hey Grannie, take it easy why don't ya.

Jen said...

I'm just surprised you have not only a chiropractor but an acupuncturist in Mulletville. I just assumed that they would give you some leaches and moonshine and call it good.

I hope you two get better soon. You must be quite a site walking down the street.

Jeanne said...

I'm in PT right now for neck problems. You have my sympathy. (And Chuck needs to eat more fiber.)

How to Party with an Infant said...

Work it. Own it.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

sorry to hear about that! I'm catching up on your last few posts now!

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