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About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Take this post with Prozac

Lately I find myself wanting to start a lot of my blogs with “Christ Almighty”—as in “Christ Almighty, today was a doozy,” etc., etc. But I don’t like to take the Lord’s name in vain. I worry about walking into churches and igniting into a ball of flames as it is. He doesn’t need more ammo.

But here I am again. I need a giant poof before I begin. Some kind of flaming spitting thundering poofing pop.

Ok, ok, I am pussyfooting.

We’re having Chuck’s cousins over for dinner. Chuck’s biological father’s sister’s kids. Chuck reconnected with them at his biological grandfather’s wake last weekend and now they are coming over for pork chops and to play what-have-you-been-up-to-for-36-years?

Did you get that? Chuck’s biological father’s sister’s kids. See, after his mom and dad had him and his brother, his dad fled the country. His mom remarried, this time to a man who had three girls of his own. His mother and the new dad had a boy and a girl. While all this was happening, his biological father came back to the States with his foreign wife and had three more kids. Chuck’s mother and step-father divorced a few years ago, and she married a man she’d secretly been in love with for almost 30 years. Thankfully he didn't have any kids with any of his four ex-wives.

So Chuck has one brother, three step-sisters, two half-brothers, three half-sisters and many aunts, uncles and cousins, including someone named Winky, whom I've yet to meet.

Joan Collins, I know you're jealous you didn't write this.

Chuck doesn’t talk to his real dad, though we did see him at the wake. And he saw Junior (a.k.a. his first biological grandson). Actually, Junior handed him a toy train. Which he took and awkwardly held.

I don’t need to tell you that the situation was difficult. Chuck’s taxidermied grandfather lying behind us only added to the discomfort. (I don’t mean to be trite, but a person can only absorb and witness so much grief before she finds herself making glib comments on her blog a week later.)

So tonight, pork chops and Our Lives, the abridged version.

I’m angry at myself for feeling slightly annoyed. We have so many people in our lives already—people who have been there, in person, for the ups and downs—and now we are going to revisit it all. I wish we could exchange life movies and regroup a few hours later. But as I write this I realize that it’s not them I’m annoyed with, it’s Time. Because it’s life that feels oversaturated, not our relationships, and I know already that after we have eaten our stupid overcooked pork chops (remember last time?), I will be looking at the sink and laundry and dust balls and I will pushing Chuck's cousins' words down my digestive track without having properly chewed them.

And that’s a shame. Because after Chuck’s kidney stones, gallbladder pain, possible ulcer, grandfather’s death, pink slip and alopecia (yup, that too), something good should come out of this winter.



Rachel said...

Would it help to know something good came from your post? I had quite a chuckle! At least you got it over with.

I hear alopecia is going around lately. ;)

Keely said...

Oh, my. He (and by proxy, you) doesn't have an easy life does he?

Hope better things are on the horizon. I know how you feel to be overextended in the 'relationship' department. Some people have endless capacity for that, I am not one of them.

Nicole said...

Hang in there dear heart--it will get better...

Chuck has had a doozy of a year--God knows...

There really isn't enough time. Life. goes. by. too. quick. And if something is annoying you, there's usually a good reason.

mrsbear said...

It all sounds like work, especially on the tail end of a funeral. (My condolences.) I hope the dinner went well and the pork chops were moist and you don't have to repeat it any time soon. May the winter look up for you and Chuck.

Belle said...

Christ Almighty? Joan writes as well?
All this time I've only been reading Jackie and Danielle!

Anne said...

It sounds like you have had quite a winter. Hopefully, things will look up with the spring. I hope dinner went well and nothing was overcooked or undercooked.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

I sincerely hope the dinner went well, that your pork chops turned out delectable, and that the 'what-have-you-been-up-to-for-36-years' game went without a hitch. ;)

Things have got to get better...I think you guys are due for some greatness. ;)

Nicole said...'ve been tagged by me--see my blog for details! Please don't feel obligated to play if you don't do tags on your blog--Ciao for now!

Anne said...

I hope you had a fabulous dinner and everything was cooked just right.

Chuck's family sounds extremely complicated. Holiday's must be a nightmare.

Frogs in my formula said...

Anne, thank you for your 2-comment best wishes LOL. You're so sweet! Actually, thank you everyone. And thank you wine. And Snickers. And Weight Watchers.

Temple said...

Wait a minute...I've seen this on a Lifetime special... complete with the pork chops....