Thursday, January 29, 2009

The poor man is crying out for crimson

I’ve been so caught up with former loves and bitchy Mexican food I completely spaced on a tag I got from the Juice. (By the way, the votes are in. Of those of you who voted, nine thought I was in the right. The chicken enchilada got three votes. But I’m not bitter.)

You might be sick of tags but look, it’s Thursday night and I just did the dishes. Whenever I do the dishes I reflect on the day, which means I mentally claw at something annoying someone did, and then I come up to my Womancave and upheave on my keyboard.

Today’s irrational irritant (at least I realize I’m mentally challenged) was my colleague’s response this morning to a brochure I designed. He started jack hammering the term “white space…white space” and wouldn’t shut it. The man doesn’t need more white space. What he needs is to stop wearing short sleeve-shirts with ties and blatantly abusing graphic design terms he’s overheard somewhere along the way. He also needs to accept his fear of color, as evidenced by his prolific collection of tan shirts, tan ties, tan pants and tan sweaters.


Anyway. The whole mangeek-is-obsessed-with-white-space leads me to the “six things most people don’t know about one of your specialties/hobbies/professions” tag. Except I am changing it to “six things I wish people would stop saying to someone in my profession (graphic design).”

You already know #1: “We need more white space. Can we have some more white space? I think we should use more white space. Or can we have tan and white space? White space and tan? Maybe just white space. Or tan.”

#2. “Do you have Publisher?” Oh, you fool! You poor, hapless fool! Publisher?

#3: “Make it pop.” Brochures are not jack-in-the-boxes.

#4: “Can I see the blue line what is that again the draft with blue ink?”

#5. “Are you painting your house?” No, but thank you for asking. It’s a Pantone Matching System swatch book and ok, I’ll be nice, it does kind of look like the swatch books from Home Depot. A really, really little book of Smurf-size swatches.

#6. “What’s wrong with Reflex Blue?” Reflex Blue is the ugliest color known to man. It should be erased from our lives and never spoken of again.

Whew, another load of dishes done, another irritant addressed. Who needs a dishwasher?

* Tan can be your friend—it's mine—but please, go easy.


Dto3 said...

Tan is the new black, you know. Like the new header, but if you want it to "Pop," I suggest adding some more "white space." The wave is a nice "reflex blue," although I thought a saw a faint "blue line" running through it. Really, just put away the damn "swatch book" and buy "Publisher" already.

Stephanie said...

I like tan too but it has it's place.... Loved the list :)

Belle said...

Dishwasher babe. It's far less stressful and you don't have to reflect. Reflecting is for geeks. I find it is better not to think too much. Hey - it works for me!
Besides - doesn't that dirty water just mess up your red nail polish?

Frogs in my formula said...

Belle, how did you know my nails are red?

C3PO, nice use of the lesson's vocabulary words. A+!

Anne said...

You missed my favorite. The client who says they don't like it, but they don't know why. I have a client that will look at something and say, "I don't like it." Then we have to go through the entire litany, do you like the headline, do you like the photo, etc., etc. Then you discover it is something stupid. I am not a designer, but I get to be the person between the designer and the client.

Keely said...

I knew we were separated at birth.

My fave is the people who don't know what they want, but know what they HATE. So you only have to go through every single design in the world before they find the one they were "thinking" of.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

I can absolutely relate to your list! Thanks for venting it for me, saves me some typing. (grin!) And Anne and Keely both hit on some other irritations that I've had to deal with as well... Loved your description of the mangeek... ;)

Temple said...

At least he didn't utter "synergy" or my most dreaded words..."market yourself." Really? How does a lawyer market themselves? Or maybe they were trying to tell me to hit the corner.. I don't know.

Oh, you have an award over on my page :)

Nicole said...

LMAO! Oh, you're funny! Tan and white space...white space or tan... *hee hee*

(There's one in every work place...)

Nicole said...

p.s. Thanks for the tip on bloggers block--I haven't picked up the book you mentioned, but I did post about an embarrassing work moment (not mine, though--not. brave. enough.) I used my poor friend Kyla's moment--she's a good sport, though :) THANKS!

Lisa N. said...

OMG, the Reflex Blue obsession...getting twitchy just thinking about it.

I really hope I never said any of these things to you...mucho appologies if I did, how annoying. :-)

We all have our vices. Mine are just...bulkier

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