About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The poor man is crying out for crimson
I’ve been so caught up with former loves and bitchy Mexican food I completely spaced on a tag I got from the Juice. (By the way, the votes are in. Of those of you who voted, nine thought I was in the right. The chicken enchilada got three votes. But I’m not bitter.)
You might be sick of tags but look, it’s Thursday night and I just did the dishes. Whenever I do the dishes I reflect on the day, which means I mentally claw at something annoying someone did, and then I come up to my Womancave and upheave on my keyboard.
Today’s irrational irritant (at least I realize I’m mentally challenged) was my colleague’s response this morning to a brochure I designed. He started jack hammering the term “white space…white space” and wouldn’t shut it. The man doesn’t need more white space. What he needs is to stop wearing short sleeve-shirts with ties and blatantly abusing graphic design terms he’s overheard somewhere along the way. He also needs to accept his fear of color, as evidenced by his prolific collection of tan shirts, tan ties, tan pants and tan sweaters.
Anyway. The whole mangeek-is-obsessed-with-white-space leads me to the “six things most people don’t know about one of your specialties/hobbies/professions” tag. Except I am changing it to “six things I wish people would stop saying to someone in my profession (graphic design).”
You already know #1: “We need more white space. Can we have some more white space? I think we should use more white space. Or can we have tan and white space? White space and tan? Maybe just white space. Or tan.”
#2. “Do you have Publisher?” Oh, you fool! You poor, hapless fool! Publisher?
#3: “Make it pop.” Brochures are not jack-in-the-boxes.
#4: “Can I see the blue line what is that again the draft with blue ink?”
#5. “Are you painting your house?” No, but thank you for asking. It’s a Pantone Matching System swatch book and ok, I’ll be nice, it does kind of look like the swatch books from Home Depot. A really, really little book of Smurf-size swatches.
#6. “What’s wrong with Reflex Blue?” Reflex Blue is the ugliest color known to man. It should be erased from our lives and never spoken of again.
Whew, another load of dishes done, another irritant addressed. Who needs a dishwasher?
* Tan can be your friend—it's mine—but please, go easy.