Monday, January 26, 2009

Dear Human Resources Clod



Dear HR Manager,

I understand you are hiring to fill the important role of Vehicular Psychic. Please accept my one-and-a-half-year-old son's resume, as I believe his qualifications make him the perfect candidate for the position you are seeking to fill.

Vehicular Psychics play an important role in today's society. The ability to correctly determine—sight unseen—if a passing vehicle is a truck, bus, 'cycle, fire [truck], train, or car is crucial to our success as a locomotive species. Not only is Junior's record near perfect, he can successfully discern ground vehicles from air.

Over and over and over and over.

Never again will you have to hear the whir of a motorized vehicle and wonder if it's a bus or truck or 'copter. The incessant repetition of his exclamations only enhances his impressive portfolio.

As an added bonus, if you have any slacker employees, Junior can circle the perimeters and besiege them with "what doing?" again and again and again.

And again.

Surely this will serve as a gentle kick in the pants, one that will help to improve your organization's productivity and bottom dollar (no pun intended).

Junior will bring to this position enthusiasm, determination and an affinity for kitties. Rest assured that any fluctuations in temperament can be quickly extinguished with Cheerios and a juice box. His beloved Puppy and Monkey might be affixed to his side, but this will in no way hinder his progress.

Thank you for your consideration,
Junior's Mom

16 comments:

Suzi said...

Cute. Don't you love it when their vocabulary just takes off?

Holly said...

Hi, you don't know me... but, I found your blog while stalking. Just wanted to say thanks for making me laugh so hard! I'm a mom of four little ones, so I appreciate all of your parenting humor. And other humor too. Best wishes.

Mary Anna said...

Can I hire him to help entertain Thing 2? I'd love to be able to empty the dishwasher in one session (instead of having to close the door and distract him every few minutes).

PaulsHealthblog.com said...

My wife and I have a little man.

Is this what we have to look forward to? :)

Nicole said...

*giggles* So cute--I love it!

Kate did the repetition thing, but it was more about having me sing Dora songs from a book she loved... We conveniently lost it during our move... *wink*

Dto3 said...

It's the old adage. . .We can't wait for them to talk, and then we can't wait from them to shut up!

Julia said...

This sounds alot like when we drive around hillbilly-villa and my son recites every, no seriously every, tractor he sees. And this includes brand and model. The indoctrination with John Deere and Cat has been complete, resistance is futile.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Ha, hilarious! This is so true. I guess all toddlers have this "talent"

Frogs in my formula said...

But how can I make money from it? He's got to start earning his keep.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Oh, that's hilarious! I can totally relate! :) If you figure out how you can make it profitable (so he can start earning his keep), please do pass on that info... ;)

Kate said...

What a gift that he discovered his calling in life at such a young age! At least you don't have to worry about him changing his major 17 times in college.

Carol @SheLives said...

Well, it would appear he does have all the necessary qualifications.

How fast can he type?

On The Verge said...

Can my two year old join Junior? She can be the entertainment. She knows every Wiggles song by heart!

mrsbear said...

He's adorable and he's talented. Send him over, after four kids I've developed an affinity for shutting the sound out of my head, think of it like an internal mute button. It works on husbands too.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Amazing talents! lol

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