Frogs on Facebook


About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I'm a hot biker babe. Totally.

This morning, over coffee and oatmeal:

Me: “I had another crazy dream.”

Chuck: “Yah?”

Me: “We bought a motorcycle.”

Chuck: “Yah?”

Me: “I was driving it and you were sitting behind me. I couldn’t get it to steer straight because my legs were sideways and—”

Chuck: “I was riding bitch?”

Me: [Pause] "Is that what they call it?”

And there you have it. The subconscious mind hard at work again—this time trying to make sense of the new roles in our household: Chuck as stay-at-home dad, me as Superior Gorgeous Wino Queen. The dream nailed it. Especially how Chuck was facing the right way while I was sitting sideways trying to figure out how the hell to steer (Chuck, you said the bitch thing, not me).

Sigh. Coupled with my terrible sense of direction, we are headed for certain disaster.

Kidding—cough, cough—I’m kidding.

It will be fine.

Chuck is rounding out week two as a stay-at-home dad, and he’s handling it better than I handled being a stay-at-home mom. There were days when Chuck would be walking up the front steps, briefcase in hand, and I would open the door, hand Junior to him, mumble something and get in my car—just to drive around alone so I could smoke and swear and try to remember who the hell I was pre-Junior. I keep waiting for that from Chuck, but instead I am greeted with his chirpy “we had a really nice day.”

Granted, he’s had 18 months to transition into this role—in parenting years, that’s a lifetime—but it does make me wonder if Rebeldad is on to something when he asks if dads “are less likely to whine than moms” (for the record, I never whined, I simply bemoaned my frazzlement/fatigue/fever—as in cabin).

Or maybe Chuck is just well suited for being a SAHD. I mean, the man has been jumping out of bed, unloading the dishwasher, picking wet towels up off the floor, making coffee and grocery shopping. He’s abreast of our sundries for Pete’s sake. He even hung a curtain rod for me last night at 11:23 p.m. He hates to hang curtain rods!

There’s a kick in his step, an extra hair on his otherwise barren head. The man is happy.

See, just like I said, it’s fine.

The best part is that I am not jealous. Nope. Not one bit.

But if I were jealous, it definitely would not make me act out or do bad things. Like, I would never intentionally not unload the dishwasher or not pick my wet towels up off the floor. Certainly I would never ask Chuck to hang a curtain rod at 11:23 p.m. then tell him the rod is crooked and make him rehang it.

I just want everyone to know that.

Kawasaki power!


Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Well, it is great that he is enjoying his new role. It would be horrible for everyone if he disliked it. How nice to have the extra help around the house. Does he cook too?

Jen said...

I remember those days of needing to leave, get in the car and smoke. I wouldn't wish them on anyone. I love my kids but I wanted to be me as well as their mom. I keep telling them "I used to be fun, I used to have a sense of humor, I used to play, I never used to nag" and the list goes on and on. They don't believe me...

Nicole said...

For me, it's kinda like the green grass syndrome... I love being at home with Kate, but I sure miss teaching, too--Scott can't win... I'm pretty much a beeatch when I'm not content--so there you have it. When we moved to Arizona, Scott wanted me to get license plates that said 2BICHEE... He even checked into it to see if that plate was available (real funny--not!)

IMHO--go with it--life is a total adventure! :)

Julia said...

Wow. That's cool.

Leanne said...

Well, I'm glad it's all working out. We're contemplating going from me being a SAHM to going back to work.

I can not see how this will work. But, it will have to and boy, will things change around here...

Suzi said...

Here from Our Simple Life. I enjoyed your post. I remember calling hubby crying "When are you coming home?" That was when he was working 10-12 hours a day.....

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

That is so awesome that he is enjoying himself and doing a good job. I would be UBER jealous and would probably be so passive aggressive my head would explode, but that's just me...I am glad you are handling it so maturely.

Keely said...

Glad you're not jealous. Because, me? I'd be SUPER jealous. I'd probably do a bunch of passive-aggressive things to get back at him.

Marinka said...

Chuck's comment "I was riding bitch?" made me his fan for life. I think you should unload the dishwasher every once in a while to make things easier for Chuck. Because I love him.

Frogs in my formula said...

Nope. Definitely not jealous. Oh Chuuuuuuuck...

Lisa N. said...

Yeah, the B-Master is a WAY better housewife than I am, and for some reason it makes me act even lazier.

I bet Chuck's contentment is all an act. I bet he totally cries into his pillow when Junior goes down for a nap. :-)