Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm beginning to think my hotness peaked in elementary school

After blogging for close to a year—gasp/holy shit, think of all the hours I’ve shat on the computer—I have come to believe that whatever you send out into the blogosphere, it comes back to you somehow (yah, yah, I’m lifting that from The Secret).

Just yesterday I wrote about that evil little boy from my youth who wanted to see my goods. Well today there was a message waiting for me in my Facebook inbox and it was from my third grade boyfriend whom I haven’t heard from in 25 years.

Not since he wrote me this note back in 1984:



(If you can’t read it, it says, “Dear Christina, Can you come over June 7 or 12 after school? You do not have to if you want. It is alright with my mom. Bring your bathing suit because I went swimming over the weekend and if it is warm enough we will go swimming! Are you playing tag?”)

In what can only be described as the cruelest twist of fate, Brian moved just before the first week of June and I never got to experience the Sri Lanka that was his swimming pool.

Man, oh man, I had it bad for him. He had creamy white skin and pale blue eyes. He wore cardigans and a braided leather belt, and he looped the excess belt over the top because he was such a twig. Sometimes I felt fat standing next to him.

I wanted to ask him if he still does that with his belts but we, um, haven’t moved into the Intimate Questions Realm yet. In fact, I didn’t even tell him I had the note. Chuck personally thought it was “cute but weird” that I’ve held on to it this long. (By the way, Chuck doesn’t have appendix issues, might be an ulcer, blah blah). I think it’s perfectly wonderful that I still have it. Though God, I hope I don't get hit by a bus tomorrow because my life has somehow come full circle. That would really blow.

Anyway, what do you think? Will Brian think I'm a freak if I tell him I have The Note? Will he be pissed I didn't heed his warning about not showing it to anyone? Will Chuck's ulcer balloon to monstrous proportions if I keep getting giddy about my third grade love?

Facebook, you insidious Pandora's Box you.

22 comments:

Dto3 said...

Not that I'm the jealous type or anything, but I'd be a little creeped out if my loving wife was holding on to the only shred of hope left of her first love. But, then again, I'm not the jealous type or anything.

Frogs in my formula said...

Oh come on, it's not like I bronzed it or anything. I just wrapped it in heart-shaped tissue paper and kept it under my pillow for 25 years. What's wrong with that?

Denise said...

I cant find stuff from last week, and I didnt keep anything from years ago. So that is so funny but cute. Go ahead and tell him you have the note. Have fun with it.

Rachel said...

I found my first grade school crush on Facebook recently, too. I was thinking of reminding him of our hot and heavy 2nd grade relationship, but I didn't. Not sure how I'd feel about it if it were my husband doing that...

Can't believe you still have the note! So cute! Definitely tell him!

Julia said...

THAT was too funny. And if you all are Facebooking maybe at some point you could tell him about the note. I have been holding on to a sweatshirt from a boyfriend from freshman year in college so it is now 20 years old........so I can throw no stones here.

MadWoman said...

Gosh, I can't imagine keeping track of something for that long. But then, I've moved every two or three years my entire life.

I think it's kind of cute you kept it. You should tell him....Maybe he'll arrive on a white horse and sweep you off into the sunset for a week. Or maybe he'll laugh and say he kept one from you too.

You did write back didn't you??

Anne said...

I still have all my old notes/love letters. I don't think my husband cares about it. Of course, I don't have the heart-shaped tissue paper, that might change things.

Definitely tell him you have the note. When it is from 3rd grade it is cute, when it is from your 20s it implies a certain level of obsession (if your boyfriend from your 20s contacts you, pretend you don't know who he is).

Frogs in my formula said...

I did write back.

He said my "munchkin" was cute, which leads me to believe he has kids b/c I don't think 35 yr old single men refer to children as munchkins. Though I could be wrong...

Kate said...

I would let him know that you have the note; he might be strangely flattered by it--in a I-can't-believe-anyone-cares
-enough-to-stalk-me kind of way.

However, I would NOT let him know that you posted it on your blog for all the world to read. After all, he in no uncertain terms said, "DON"T SHOW ANYONE!!" The bonds of trust might just be broken....

Keely said...

I can't believe you still have that. Who has the ROOM to store that kind of crap??

Hm, I wonder WHY Chuck has an ulcer?

Leanne said...

I got off Facebook for this very reason. My past was coming back to haunt me and it was WAY too creepy. Good luck with Brian er, no I mean the hubby's ulcer. :)

Heather said...

Hmmm...He might think it's funny or cute that you kept that note...have you asked him why he contacted you? Or why he remembers you?

On The Verge said...

I'm not sure if I would tell him. Maybe give it a little more time before you do.

Charmaine said...

Dear Lord that is hysterical.

You MUST send him a picture of the note.

If you're right, and everything we blog out comes back to us....I am so SCREWED!!!!!!!

Nicole said...

That's pretty funny--I can remember some of the notes I received and sent along the way, but haven't saved any--I've purged them from my life! I also have managed to stay away from facebook--my husband's addiction is enough for me to steer clear...

I'd tell him about the letter--too cute!

Frogs in my formula said...

Ok, I told him about the note. Like, ahahahaha, guess what I randomly found...he hasn't written back. Oh me oh my, I am quitting Facebook.

Sassy said...

I think you should tell him--he would probably be flattered.
I think it's Shangri-La, not Sri Lanka. But maybe that's why it's funny.

Anonymous said...

I am quitting facebook as well. Having one hundred and thirty friends I never see face to face makes me feel socially inept. I don't need to be reminded of this.

Stacy said...

I think it's cute you have the note. I mean it was 3rd grade, not even close to stalker-ism. I'm having the same problem with Facebook, or should I say my husband. I don't mind Facebook, he has a problem with any of my "friends" that are guys. So, my husband doesn't have an ulcer, he is just mentally unstable right now. Damn you Facebook!

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

And I thought I was the biggest packrat around! (evil grin!) I don't have anything saved from that far back...though you wouldn't think so with the plethora of boxes stacked in the attic...(snicker!)

Oh man...he hasn't written back! I'll be curious to find out if he finally does... I mean c'mon - it was third grade...like the other Stacy said, third grade is not close to stalker-ism! :)

Temple said...

Holy crap! You still have a note from 3rd grade?!?! Man, I am impressed...and a tad bit concerned...

So, you need to find out if Dude still has a pool...

kyooty said...

oh that's cute!

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