Sunday, November 23, 2008

I never thought I'd say this, but Jessica Simpson is the only one who can save me

When I was in college, I had a roommate who did what every woman contemplates but often doesn’t have the nut to carry out: She took a pair of scissors and hacked off all of her blonde hair. She was beautiful enough to get away with it. And skinny. And glamorous. Blah, blah.

Every time I thought about it—and even got as far as bringing the scissors close to my head—I heard the voice. No, not Winona. This voice was more like Dudley Moore narrating a very sad children’s book: “She had been such a pretty girl. And then she went and ruined it. And sat home every Saturday night until her hair grew so long around her it eventually swallowed her whole. The end.”

Despite the knowledge that I could never pull off a jagged self-coif, I have always, always wanted to hack it all off. Especially lately. Long hair takes forever to blow dry. Ponytails give you pattern baldness (it’s true!). And Chuck, being the bald man he is, has always encouraged/bullied me into changing my hairdo because he has hair envy and let’s be honest, there’s only so much you can do with facial hair. (Though if I were a guy, I would totally have a handlebar moustache. Why the hell not? It’s badass!)

So, um, yesterday morning I went to the hairdressers and said “Chop it off!”

And now I look like this:

Just in time for my high school reunion this Saturday.

Lesson? The voice, whoever the hell it sounds like, is always right.


Lidian said...

Oh, I can relate. I chopped off my hair once because I had a conversation with my mother about how my hair ought to be this or that way (never mind the details, you get the idea) and it took a year to get back to shoulder length.

It will grow, I promise! Sending you a hug for now, while you are waiting...

Keely said...

I bet it looks cute.

Anyway, everybody does that at some point. It's just most of us did it in high school, when it could be the most psychologically damaging.

Barretts and hats are your friend. Rock that reunion.

Mary Anna said...

Okay, first, repeat my mantra: It's only hair and it will grow back.

I change my hair style and length almost every time I go to the hairdresser. She laughs because I always have a picture of what I want - from Halle Berry short to Jennifer Aniston layers to some random woman with gray hair that inspired my current 'do.

Just rest assured with the right brush and a good amount of product, you can not hate me because I'm beautiful!

Temple said...

I'm sure it's better than the Dutch Boy. I just got mine chopped the other day...again, and after the initial shock it's fine. Of course, my honey has "baldman" hair envy too, so when he doesn't relate I just remind him that he dyes his beard :)

Leanne said...

Oh boy. I learned this lesson the hard way years ago too. For the reunion? How do you feel about hats or wigs?

Carol said...

I'm with Mary Anna. It's hair. It grows back. Gray. I promise.

Have fun at that reunion. I've skipped all of mine thus far. I'm sure you're adorable and they'll just all be happy to see you and you'll have a great time.

Nicole said...

When I lost my hair (chemo) my hubbie called me "Telly" as in Telly Sevalas--I might be dating myself here, but Telly played a bald NY City detective with a fondness for lollipops--nice comparison, huh? (God I love my husband!)--I'm getting to the point (sorry) It does grow back, and in the mean time you could always wear a dumbass hat to throw 'em off...

Practically Joe said...

"I so much wish I could place a comment here today."
-Practically Joe

On behalf of Rodney, the Practically Wisdom Blog Team is visiting everyone on the list of BLOGs he follows. He would like you to know that he greatly enjoys reading your posts and commenting on them.

Unfortunately Rodney, sorry, we mean Practically Joe, has been heavily sedated for a long period of time now, following an accident which left him with two broken ribs and a number of minor injuries.

He has been coming along fine and asked the team to post an account of the incident, which was posted on Sunday, 11/23.

We have great expectations that he shall return soon, as good as new. He wishes you and every blogger a Great Thanksgiving Holiday.
For those not in the USA … Have a great week!

Thank You.
The Practically Wisdom Blog Team.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Oh honey, been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. I have had a pixi cut and every other short hair cut there is. Everyone always told me I had the face for it and it looked good. I wasn't buying into it though, I ALWAYS regretted it when I cut it off.

It still takes all my willpower not to do it nowadays!

Dto3 said...

That Dutch Boy has always turned me on. "Most Freakin' Sexy" alum award coming your way.

Frogs in my formula said...

Joe, was that a pre-recorded message you just left me??

Whiney Momma said...

OMG, sorry to be chuckling her on your behalf. I have done the whole chop it off thing too and the regret still stings. BTW, love your blog. I can't believe it has taken me this long to find you. You are so going on my blogroll.

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