Monday, November 3, 2008

As far as I know, Mrs. Robinson didn't climb any mountains

So it’s November. Big month, yesiree. For instance, tomorrow. And November 5th, which is Art Garfunkel’s 66th birthday. Then there’s November 15th, which is America Recycles Day, and the obvious ones, Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving. November is also Aviation History Month, Epilepsy Awareness Month, and Peanut Butter Lovers Month (come on—we need a month for that?)

What you don’t know is that November is the month of my first-ever high school reunion—a mere 15 years after the fact. Our class president actually hated our class. She was chunky alterna chick meets fleet of JCrew v-necks (I’m not sure how she got elected, my class was way too homogenous to vote for someone who didn’t wear cable knits). Anyway, give someone 15 years to grow hazy on past grievances and of course she’s going to get nostalgic and plan a reunion…at a shanty lobster shack.

I’m going. Screw it. I got the damn invitation the very same day I found my first gray hair. That’s obviously a sign: You’re aging jerk off, so go see who turned out to be really hot. (That’s the truth, you can’t deny it, we all want to know if Eric Rothbaum kept his sexy blonde curls).

Out of 252 people, 50 have RSVPed yes. Counting me and my two carpooling friends, that’s 47 unique visitors (oh, you insidious blog lingo, you). That’s pathetic!

Moving on…November is also the wedding month of the boy—Pete—who formerly had a crush on me. Now, lots of boys have had crushes on me (it’s true, like 589 have), but as we all know, crushes are often one way streets. I could never love Pete. His fingers resembled mini Jimmy Dean sausage links and he ate steak in a way that…let’s just say I could envision him at a steak house in 25 years with a gut that rivaled Mount Everest.

Nonetheless, Pete is the boy I was with the night I met Chuck. And he knew Chuck liked me so he kept his stumpy hand across my chair all night so Chuck couldn’t move any closer to talk to me. Even more, when Chuck asked him for my number, he said no. So Chuck found out where he lived, went to his apartment under the guise of renting the spare bedroom and while Pete was in the bathroom, Chuck stole my number from his Rolodex (this was 1997, when the Rolodex was en vogue).

Chuck liked me that much. And he loves me so much he doesn’t mind that I go to my high school reunion solo.

Sucka! (Just kidding, honey.)

That’s all I’ve got for tonight. Now get off the computer and go send Art Garfunkel a birthday card!

(And yes, I chose the prime rib plate for Pete’s wedding, just for old time’s sake.)


Erin Tales said...

Brave woman. I skipped my last reunion.

BTW, I recently discovered your blog through Go Graham Go - or maybe it was On The Verge. Either way, loving it. So, I have this for you:

Lidian said...

I never have been to a reunion. And I have been finding those grey hairs for 7 years now, but thankfully not all that many! :)

The first one's a bit of a downer though.

I am glad I found your blog!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

What a great story. Your husband really wanted to get to know you! I just went to my 20th, it wasn't that bad. I had a few drinks, sad a couple of inappropriate things but no biggie. Just being me - former President of the Student Government and only black person present. My class was less than 1% Black so that was no surprise. Most of the folks there I have known since grade school. It was nice to catch up. We now all stay in touch by facebook.

Frogs in my formula said...

Renee, I added this comment to your blog too but I believe it's impossible that you went to your 20 yr HS reunion! You look fantastic.

Keely said...

That's brave of you - I don't think I could even count 50 people from high school whose names I remember. I kept in touch with the ones I wanted to keep in touch with, the rest I reject on Facebook.

And how awesome is your husband? I wish someone would commit almost-burglary for ME.

Practically Joe said...

I never went to a high school reunion ...
I went to an all boy's high school and I'm sorry but I could never get excited about revisiting that whole stage of my life.

I would definitely go to yours though ... lobster?

harrietv said...

I skipped my 50th reunion this year, having been to the 40th and found it lacking.
There were 510 people in my senior class, and most of them are no longer worth my time.

Mary Anna said...

I went to my reunion to find out who was fatter, skinner or balder. It was quite fun. I felt like a winner when I left.

One of our star football players and Top 10 grads was picked up the night before for DWI, so he was asking everyone if they were lawyers. Classy. Then there were the ones who didn't pay to get in so they got drunk in the lobby and tried to crash the reunion. Nice. The chick who did the flick in college didn't show. Too bad!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

haha, funny! I didn't make it to my 10 year because I had already seen anyone I was interested in seeing, but I will probably go to the 20th cause by then, I'll be a COUGAR!!!

Bard Girl said...

I would never go to a reunion. I found my first grey hair when I was 21 which is just so very wrong. Oh the curse of having dark hair. I'm going to try something to get rid of those little buggers. Oh darn I forgot to get shoes for show month which was last month. Well I'm okay with peanut butter since I like it.

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