Saturday, November 15, 2008

How do you recover from the most exxxciting night ever? You do the Macarena

Yawn. Stretch. Crack.

Is it really after 10? Does my brain really feel this clear and mountain-fresh clean?

Yes. Yes it does.

Last night was our first childless night since March, when we let loose and did this. If you don’t like happy little cookie people, I'll give you a quick synopsis: Chuck and I hit Lenscrafters and downed a 6-pack in the mall parking lot for Date Night I. Do I even need to tell you that expectations for Date Night II were much higher? I mean, through the roof higher.

So hold on kiddies, here we go:

Venue #1: Mulletville’s version of a lounge bar
After dolling ourselves up, Chuck and I walked to downtown Mulletville and had some sliders. And beer. And Red Headed Sluts. I ran into the publisher of the local paper. Apparently my editorial board contributions have been completely unremarkable because I had to re-introduce myself for the 15,000,000th time. Chuck and I befriended an octogenarian named Corky, whose wife left him to clean his dentures in some Sam Adams while she played Black Jack at the casino.
Time of departure: 6:45 p.m.
Tab: $38.72

Venue #2: WalMart
Chuck bought the new Hellboy and I bought Woolite. For shits and giggles I threw a Glamour in the cart. Just to, you know, keep up appearances.
Time of departure: 7:25 p.m.
Tab: $31.86

Venue #3: Mulletville’s version of an Irish pub

After we pulled into the driveway and realized it wasn’t even eight o’clock, we decided we were utterly pathetic. So we walked back to downtown Mulletville and hit one last bar, where we had more Red Headed Sluts and I ran into a co-worker dining alone. Apparently my graphic design contributions to my company have been completely unremarkable because I had to re-introduce myself for the 15,000,000th time. The cure for his contrition? More shots.
Time of departure: 8:44 p.m.
Tab: $40.11

Venue #4: Home
Chuck popped in Hellboy and I promptly fell asleep. Can you blame me?

Ok, so we have become the lamest couple on the planet. But you know what I've learned? A night without Junior is good for the noggin. And I've still got it: Corky thought I was cute. Really, really cute.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, we’ve already missed a wedding ceremony this morning, and I don’t think blogging is an acceptable reason to miss the reception.


Jay @halftime lessons said...

I love your pathetitude.


Now turn off your frickin word verification before I have to come over there and do it for you.

You can easily turn it off...
I wrote about how to do it here...

Jenn P. said...

LMAO! Sounds like mine and my husband's nights out.

Frogs in my formula said...

I'll turn it off as soon as Hellboy is over.

On The Verge said...

I really need to do a date night. We can't find anyone to watch all four. I think we could challenge you for the lame couple title.

Keely said...

Meh. Our date nights were pretty close to that BEFORE we had kids.

But at least then, it was by CHOICE. Sigh.

Mary Anna said...

The daycare where we had the boys when I worked had a monthly Parents' Night Out. It was fantastic! I'd just drop a Chik-Fil-A kid's meal off on my way to meet up with Hubs somewhere. Oh, how I miss PNO!

Our parents all live four hours away, so date nights are few and far between. For the last one, we wasted (lots!) of money to go see Tom Petty.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

You are so funny. And it sounds like date night was a blast (not really but I thought it was the nice thing to say because I am sweet like that. But really, it sounds like a horrible date. The most redeeming part of it had to be spending alone time with hubby. Right?). I can't wait to read about the next one! tone: a little sarcastic mostly awwww.

Lidian said...

Oh, I love your posts so much!

Can relate, oh yes indeed.

And what are Red Headed Sluts, I know it is a drink but that's all I know. Am soon going to go have my thrilling Saturday thimbleful of sherry and maybe watch some TV, how exciting is that?

(Answer - not very)

Small Town Mommy said...

You went to a bar? And you talked to people? And went to another bar? We don't have bars in the Small Town. Sadly, I am jealous of your excitement. Last night, we ordered Chinese food and watched the 1978 Superman. At least Hellboy is from this century.

Frogs in my formula said...

Red headed sluts are peachtree schnapps, jagermeister and cranberry juice. They are so tasty!!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...


I haven't had one since college...

that sounds really bad doesn't it?

We all have our vices. Mine are just...bulkier

I've been away from this blog for awhile. I know . But see, we are trying to move. Just thinking about moving is hard, but actually tr...