Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Carrie Bradshaw's voice makes self introspection feel icky



So you like pictures of hairballs but not of a frog and a bear canoodling in secret. Interesting.

I didn’t arrange them like that; when I went to put Junior down for bed last night I caught them red-handed. Then I called Chuck in to have a peek and he laughed—probably for the first time in awhile.

The mood in the house has been downright shitsville, and I have myself to thank. I thought I had gotten to the point with my husband where I understand the concept of space. Normally when something is bothering him—like an impending pink slip—and he holes up in his Man Room until the wee hours of the morning saving the world (excuse me, playing video games) I don’t linger in the doorway. I let him do his thing.

But lately, as I’m lingering in the doorway, my mouth is spewing out this:

What’swrongwhat’swrongwhat’swrong?

I can’t understand why he avoids me.

The thing is, I know that the more you push, the more someone retreats. But I can’t help it. I’m like a chainsaw going after a melancholy bunny rabbit with a broken leg. If I could just catch it, we could get this over with.

This morning it finally came to a head. Chuck yelled, “Is this what Junior’s wearing today?” The TV was on and I was blow-drying my hair so it sounded like “Wha wha wha wwwa waaaaaa wawawaaa?” (that’s a Peanuts rip-off, I’m aware). I calmly stopped what I was doing and shouted back about four gazillion decibels louder “I CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU SCREAM AT ME!”

Why didn’t I just say, “I HOPE YOU SHRIVEL UP AND WASTE AWAY YOU VILE CRETIN”?

Sigh. That’s what happens when your husband interrupts an internal conversation you’re having with him while taming your frizz; a conversation that goes something like this: “Please, for the love of God smile and let’s move on with our lives!”

I apologized, but on the way out Chuck spit on my car, then backed into it.

That Chuck!

No, really, he called me at work to apologize for being in such a funk. I was immediately contrite for how I have been trying to cheerlead him into sunnier pastures instead of letting him wallow in his muck. (Really, I’ve been downright annoying.)

After we hung up, I got to wondering (ew, how very Carrie Bradshaw): Why is it so much easier to apologize after someone else has done it first? Why do we needle our partners when we know they need the opposite?

And why, oh why, didn’t the frog and bear just tell me they had a tawdry thing going?

6 comments:

Ohana Mama said...

Sounds like my house "what's wrong, what's wrong" I even annoy myself, lol.

Good read! :) Hope you two are a-ok...this too shall pass...I think we are all in shitsville...kinda makes you feel better when you think of that.

Sarah

Felicia said...

Yes.. why is it so hard just to let them be? We are always having arguments about this, "If you would just stop bugging me I wouldn't be upset..." something like that!

Keely said...

I just read that whole post hearing Carrie Bradshaw. Thanks. THANKS A LOT.

Oh, and I do the same thing. Yes, I KNOW he just wants to be left alone, yes, I KNOW he'll get out of his funk, yet I pester him (when he's captive in the car, no less!). Why are you so grumpy? what's wrong?

ad. nauseum.

Guess it's in our nature.

Pablo Guero said...

He has a Man Room? I want one of those.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

This could have been a scene from our house, totally. I think it's a common tale for married couples, so don't feel bad. How to rectify it? I have no idea. I think it's a Mars/Venus thing.

Frogs in my formula said...

Every man should have a man room--as long as it's far away from the rest of the rooms that it doesn't stink up the whole house.

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