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About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Foreplay never looked so breezy

My dear dad gets me subscriptions to Smithsonian and National Geographic every Christmas. Last year, he accidentally got me one for my married name and for my unmarried name. I wonder which subscription he sent in first?

Anyway, I had the rare opportunity to sit down and thumb through this month’s Smithsonian (seriously, I'm backlogged to July 2003) when I stumbled upon what is possibly the most comical description of mating I have ever encountered:

“If a female is fertile, the male will try to mount her. The female may keep walking, causing the male’s forelegs to fall awkwardly back to the ground. In the only successful coupling [ever] witnessed, a male pursued a female—walking alongside her, rubbing her neck—for more than three hours before she finally accepted him. The act itself was over in less than 10 seconds.”

Buying a woman roses and assuring her 10,000,000 times that she’s not fat so you can get some nookie doesn’t sound like such hard work anymore, now does it? Didn't think so.

Can you guess what animal this is (hint, it’s not your husband—I hope). No cheating! Smithsonian promised to alert me if any of the above words were Googled en masse. First correct guesser gets my extra subscription to Smithsonian.*

*One whole issue!


Marinka said...

I'm going to go with giraffe. OMG, it took me about 15 tries to spell that correctly.

Frogs in my formula said...

What gave it away?? The neck??

Marinka said...

I can't believe that I got it right! Yes, the neck was the only clue. I am a regular Nancy Drew, you know!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Oh congratualtions Marinka. I should have guessed that you would get it right. You just seem like someone that would know random things. Congrats!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

oh man, that's too funny! I'm sharing this with my husband...

Practically Joe said...

I'm scared of giraffes ... I totally don't like them.
Ironically ... I mate like one.

Check out my post ... "The Truth about Giraffes"