Sigh. You want pictures? Here:

It's the photo we had taken for the office holiday card. I'd show you my face, but I'd like to retain some of my dignity.
The card is the pre-cursor to the office holiday party next week for which it has been suggested (i.e., mandated) that we wear red sweaters, brown skirts and "sexy" reindeer boots (this is from a boss who made me wear her hooker heels, remember?) to accompany our antlers and red noses...
I sent the photo to my friend. This is what she wrote:
"It's sad and funny at the same time."
I love getting kicked when I'm down. On all fours.