My dad is such a great guy. Yesterday, before we took Junior out for breakfast, he handed me a stack of Life magazines from 1936 and told me there were some articles I should probably have now that I'm an old, married bag (his words, not mine).
He was kidding, of course. Heh, heh. Good ole pops.
I leafed through one of the magazines and stumbled upon this lovely number. It so carefully demonstrates the finer points of how to undress in an attractive, wifely way. Instructions are courtesy of the Allen Gilbert School of Undressing.
Excuse me? School of Undressing? How about School of Nut Kicking?
According to Mr. Gilbert, the "business of taking off stockings is virtually an art in itself." The slow, titillating rolling down of said stockings accomplishes two things: it excites the man (duh) and prevents him from having to see any unsightly runs.
The article goes on to say that such “good bedroom manners” are essential to married happiness once the honeymoon is over.
Sigh. I like this set of instructions much better.
I think, in fact, that I've actually fallen asleep with my nightgown knotted around my head, like the woman on the left. Minus the heels. And stockings.
But the grimace? Hell yeeeeeees.
