After a nice, long holiday weekend

Re-entry is a serious bitch.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Underwear Chronicles

Grrr. It's Tuesday.

I'm feeling sickish. When I looked up my symptoms on the Internet, I found a site called the Symptom Checker. Their web address is symptoms.wrongdiagnosis.com.

At least they're honest.

How many pairs of underwear is it normal to own? I counted my underwear (oh quiet, I was cleaning out my top drawer) and I had 82 pairs. Is that, um, the usual amount of underwear to own or do I have issues?

We're going on a boat tour of the Thimble Islands for my friend's 35 birthday in a few weeks. We get to bring our own food and drinks and watch the sunset. Listening to gulls while eating a weenie and slugging red wine seems idyllic. It makes me think of my own 35th birthday, for which I was covered in vomit and dabbling in suppositories.

Oh wait, no it doesn't.

I wish Athleta had never started sending me their catalogs. I want everything they make, including their asscheeks.



I'm finally embracing my curly hair. I'm going to ween myself off the blow dryer. Using a 1875-watt hairdryer for 12 minutes a day equals more than 500 lb of CO2 emissions annually. But honestly, that's not why I'm quitting it. I'm tired of pissing away 20 minutes every other morning so I can have straight hair. I work in Mulletville for fuck's sake.

Should I also embrace the tankini? It seems inevitable.

Did you know that a blog with 15,000 visits a month has a yearly CO2 emissions of 8 lb? Since I get 18 visits a month I'm in the clear, but if you're up there with Dooce or Schmooce or Lickagoose, this company will plant a tree on behalf of your blog if you click this link.

Be honest. You're dying to go count your underwear, aren't you?