Here's a picture of the new do. I'm sorry it's not very exciting; in case you couldn't already see that it is longer in front, I provided the visual aid of a red line.
Did you fall asleep? I told you the picture was boring. But honestly, this haircut is gold. An 18-year-old rolled down his window on the highway to wave to me. Smokin! And you know how I mentioned that I am having my portrait painted (if you're new here, hello, I'm having my portrait painted—but not because I wanted to, a painter asked me if he could. It's for his new series "Haggard Housewives").
Tonight was the second sitting, and the guy liked my hairdo so much he started a new painting. Well, no, the truth is that I couldn't sit in the same position because of the fricken neck injury so he had me sit on top of the chair instead of in it.
Doesn't that sound like fun?
Anyway, as I was driving home, I had a brilliant idea for a blog post, so I ran it by Chuck.
Mrs. M: "How funny is this: If you need the perfect cover for an affair, tell your spouse that you're getting your portrait painted."
Chuck: "Go on..."
Mrs. M: "Think about it! It's ideal. It's okay if you come home in different clothes because you could say you changed for the sitting. You have a valid reason for not picking up your phone. It could go on for months. If you pull a muscle you can blame it on sitting for too long in the same position. And if your spouse ever wanted to see the finished piece you could say the piece is in a private collection and not available for viewing."
Chuck: "Are you trying to tell me something?"
Mrs. M: "Of course not."
Chuck: "Are you sure?"
Mrs. M: "How stupid would that be? To tell you my cover?"
Chuck: "Maybe that's your cover."
Mrs. M: "My cover is to tell you my cover?"
Mrs. M: "I guess I'll just have to bring home the painting of me riding the armchair."
If you're worried that your spouse is using portrait painting as his or her cover for infidelity, this man can help you. And for God's sake if you end up on the show let me know so I can DVR it.