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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm a 40-something mother to a pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our tween Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler Cam, and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). I'm a freelance graphic designer and writer.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Spooning on Arbor Day: a big no-no

Our poor kitty is doing just fine, thank you. I particularly enjoy the thunks as she drags herself across the kitchen floor. And how Junior tries to pull her leg off as he screams, “That’s mine! That’s mine!”

Yes, everything belongs to Junior these days, including things that are melded to other creatures.

But let’s get back to me. I didn’t even get a chance to write about our weekend in Assachusetts (oops, did I forget the “M”?). We stayed with friends at their beach house. As purdy as their beach house was, it was very small.

Like, when we pulled up to the house, our car was bigger.

Shudder.

Our friends let us use their guest room, which was generous of them, but the minor caveat—that Chuck and I had to push twin beds together if we wanted to sleep together—was a major pain in the ass. Nothing says personal hell like sleeping in the fucking crack.

Even though Chuck promised he wouldn't push me into the crack, it's where I spent most of my time. I kept telling him that it wasn’t imperative we spoon, but he chose this weekend to get all soft on me.

“I’m not sleeping apart on a holiday weekend!”

Silly Chuck. I guess he hasn’t referenced his Nuptial Manual lately. It clearly states that on holidays celebrated with heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, you spoon. On holidays celebrated with explosives and fire, it’s perfectly acceptable to sleep wherever you want as long as you get a good night's sleep.

By the second night I was scoping out other places to crash, like the bathtub and roof. A hotel room was also an attractive option, though our friends wouldn’t hear of it.

Oh how I wanted to hear of it.

Did I mention that our friends forgot to mention that their other friends were also staying with them? Junior bunked with us, which meant he had a bird's eye view of us from his Pack 'n Play.

He woke up at 6:10 both mornings.

“Hi, Mommy! Whatchoo doin’ Mommy? What's that? Bird’s fyin’! Juice, mommy? What’s Dadda doin’ Mommy? Whatchoo doin’ Mommy? I took a nap. Dadda's sleepin'. I want some juice, Mommy. What's that? Juice, mommy? What’s Dadda doin’ Mommy? Whatchoo doin’ Mommy? I took a nap. Bird’s fyin’! Whatchoo doin’ Mommy? Juice, mommy? What’s Dadda doin’ Mommy? Whatchoo doin’ Mommy? I took a nap.”

After I pulled myself out of the crack, Chuck and I walked Junior to the beach so he wouldn’t wake up the rest of the matchbox. You know who else is at the beach at 6:15 a.m.? Other parents of kids who wake up too early at their friends' beach house.

We made some nice friends; I think next time we’ll stay with them.

Note: In all the hubbub I totally forgot to mention the winner of the numbers! Congratulations, Baby News.

23 comments:

Pablo Guero said...

Junior sounds like every three-year-old I've ever known. Hilarious!

Mad Woman said...

Sounds like a vacation I never want to have....bet you're glad it's over.

blognut said...

I SO remember those days of bunking in with the kids and having them start yacking your ear off the second the sun comes up. Ugh.

Definitely get a hotel next time.

mo.stoneskin said...

I'd love to see Junior claiming ownership of the cat's leg.

A question I ask myself every day is why do littluns wake up so damn early?!

Sheila said...

OMG! This cracked me up! I'm SURE my 3 year old would be saying the same thing "whatcha doing mommy? what is DADDY DOING, MOMMY?!" LOL! :)

Brandy said...

that doesn't even sound like a vacation.

Ms. Salti said...

I had a similar sleeping experience on vacation once, although I didn't have to spoon or wake up to a small child! That just sucks. Hope you can catch up on some sleep this week!

Stacie's Madness said...

sleeping in the crack AND woken at the crack of dawn...

not good.

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO...but you were AT the beach! I would sleep in a crack to be at the beach on the 4th-wait I never would have pushed the beds together...oh wait yes I would have then I would have handed my hubby a pillow and a beach towel and pointed to the floor
;-)

Harmony said...

Hahahaha.... Sometimes it's a relief when vacation is over ;)

Nanc Twop said...

'
When you were headed to the beach at dawn:
''Chuck and I walked Junior to the beach ...''


I was waiting for the last half of that sentence to be '... and threw him in.'

Great post.

Anne said...

This is why I love hotels. Even though you share a room with the kid, someone cleans up after you when you go to the beach (yes, I am that lazy). I hope kitty gets to keep her leg. I know Junior wants it but she is probably kind of attached to it.

Sara said...

The Crack in Assachusetts?

The Mother said...

What is it with men? Do they not understand how AMAZING it is not to have to share a bed, just ONCE?

Keely said...

At least you pushed them together, my hubby would have insisted we could both fit on ONE. Which means I end up on the floor rather than the crack, since he's 6'3" and over 200lbs.

Frogs in my formula said...

I am glad it's over, and I hate feeling that way about vacation!

(Insert tantrum on floor)

FoN said...

Yikes - been there. But in addition to the already crowded fun, our baby screamed her head off for six hours in the middle of the night. Because of the giantic thunderstorm raging outside. And the *curtain* dividing the rooms really didn't help keep the noise away from the others. Oddly, they never invited us back.

Susan said...

Spooning makes me sweat. And not in a good way.

Pricilla said...

Sounds like you are up with the chickens much like me. I am not so sure I am happy the male person got the chickens. I know I am not happy they are in my pen...

Lori said...

This is definitely a bright spot to my day, as I sit outside IN OUR CAR listening to the kids' music having just got back from the beach even though it's 6:27 since we're stuck in this stupid rental house that they said was 1000 sq. ft. bigger than it really is and my Little Man already broke some priceless antique lamp the lady owns. I'm now counting down the days until we're out of here. But thanks for the laugh!

kyooty said...

next time book the hotel! did you read about my driveway crashers?

Whiney Momma said...

Yikes, that sounds like one trip to forget! Sorry to hear about the snug quarters...I think I would have made up some excuse, like I think our kid has diarrhea or maybe head lice and we don't want to get it all over your guest room or something.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That does not sound like a fun getaway at all. Bet you were glad to get home! :)