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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

In other anticlimactic news, I'm not pregnant

Holy shit. You guys are nuts. I hope I never cross any of you! Oreos with toothpaste filling? Syringes full of Ex-Lax? Open tuna fish cans hidden under desks? And (my personal favorite): stolen dirty underwear origamied to look like a wrapped sandwich?

No lack of imagination here.

But, I am so upset! You came up with so many glorious, vengeful ideas for Steve the Lunch Stealer and I can’t use one of them because look what was waiting for me today after I got back from my mid-morning meeting:



Not only did Steve come through with a replacement lasagna, he also left me my very own Sharpie pen so I can mark up my lunches with NOT STEVE'S LUNCH till the cows come home.

I heart Steve. I like how he bitchslapped me then came through in the end. What a catch!

The end.

(Was this anticlimactic? Cause I can still, like, give him food poisoning for fun. The hallways at work are so long; it's always entertaining to see a sprinter.)

29 comments:

The Mother said...

Damn! Just when you were getting up a righteous head of steam!

Does he know you blog????

Kelly's Ideas said...

Funny post.. sometimes planning the revenge can be so fun..

Love,
Kelly

feefifoto said...

Save the list. You might need it someday.

Keely said...

Yeah, are you sure he didn't read your blog?

And, are you SURE you're not pregnant? You seem awfully over-wrought over a stolen lasagne :P

lizspin said...

OH. . . you didn't tell us it was an AMY'S lasagna! That would have been worth fighting for!

Suzi said...

So does this mean you are officially trying to get pregnant?

Madge said...

k. i heart steve for replacing your lasagna - and bringing you the pen.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'd still be mad. I'm evil like that.

Leanne said...

Yeah, does he know you blog? Sometimes this is the best revenge... I think maybe that's why I do it. Can't be for the money. Sigh.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

aww! That was cute!! But I think he was scared of the death rays you were pointing at him! Still, there maybe others, right?!!

mom911 said...

Dammit! You just ruined my 'mad'.
Oh well, at least *I* got some good ideas to deal with office thieves.
~Stephanie

Pricilla said...

erm, did you THINK you were pregnant? Did I miss a post?

Glad you have some new lasagne

mo.stoneskin said...

Do it anyway.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

How to Party with an Infant said...

He totally read your blog.

Jeanne said...

I still can't believe someone knowingly stole your lunch.

sarahthings said...

Aww, good on Steve! But that bastard still better watch out.

designHER Momma said...

he's obviously reading....do you think? too funny.

Gina said...

The replacement lunch is pretty cool. The Sharpie? Awesome!

Brandy said...

i'm so glad you got your lasagna. otherwise there would have been hell to pay.

kyooty said...

well there went that festival of "fun"... on to the next coworker... you've got more right?

Dugout Daisy said...

Kudos to Steve... the gift of the sharpie was a clever touch. I wish I had clever coworkers, mine just steal your things and throw them in the trash. :(

Anne said...

I choose to give Steve the benefit of the doubt and think he is a nice guy. So, what is the anticlimactic news thing? I didn't know we thought you were pregnant. I am sorry to hear that or congratulations. Depends if you were trying.

marybt said...

Awww. Steve's alright. :)

Ashlee said...

Aww, what a keeper!! You can still use the sharpie to give him a Hitler-like mustache while he's sleeping..teasing!! LOL!

Emily said...

ROFL!!!!!!

Katie said...

Gotta admit, the pen was a really nice touch. I'm glad we don't have to commit murder by food poisoning now because I'd really hate to have that on my conscience, despite the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed planning the revenge.

Nanc Twop said...

`
re: the sharpie Did he buy it or steal it from office supplies?... counts less if he stole it.

And actually, you can still stay a tad mad since you're still out whatever you had to pay for yesterday's lunch.

Unless you were forced to eat that tofu one?... if so he owes you triple!

Get out the toothpaste & oreos!

;-)
`

Marinka said...

he gave you some whore Amy's lasagna?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

It does make you wonder if he reads your blog...(snicker!)

Yep, Stevie boy took the wind out of the sails, didn't he? Too funny! ;)

Wait - are you trying to get pregnant? >;o)~