I made Chuck watch a chick flick, He’s Just Not That Into You, this weekend. Chuck was long overdue. He made me watch Rocky Balboa the next night as retaliation. I cannot lie: I liked Rocky better. There’s something about dead meat hanging from factory ceilings that lends a certain authenticity to a movie. Or maybe the dialogue was more plausible. Take your pick.
I need a Twitter tutorial. I don't understand it and so I've begun to mock it and follow people like Richard Simmons just because.
Sometimes I watch QVC just to see if the hosts can talk me into buying something horrible.
I’m thinking about getting lasik, but I’m scared they’re going to fuck it up and I’m going to have to wear glasses like this for the rest of my life:
I don’t understand how the bad vision gene survived the hunter-gatherer era. Just picture it: a loin-clothed man standing in a field squinting at what he thinks is a tree but what is actually a tiger. Nom, nom, nom. And a berry picker squinting at what she thinks are berries and nuts but what are actually mice pellets or worse, fish eyeballs. Her dinner mates would surely stone her. Or at least make her eat her own gatherings in the corner. I don’t know about you, but the last time I read about someone who’d eaten mice pellets and fish eyeballs, he didn’t make it.
I read that a woman ingests over six pounds of lipstick in her lifetime. I guess that explains the Berry Sexy hue to my toilet bowl.
Sometimes when I’m driving with Junior in the car I fantasize about passing our exit, calling Chuck and telling him, “Grab a bag and meet us in Oregon.” Why not? Surely it’s nicer than Mulletville. We could hike and bike and live in the woods. And I swear, I wouldn’t forage for dinner until I’ve had my vision corrected.
To visit the bodacious queen of Randomness and my partner in crime for skydiving with unicorns, check out this site.
27 comments:
I like to watch QVC to see if anyone has a chipped nail.
6 pounds? Boy I am glad I don't wear lipstick!
Missy
I like to watch QVC and take bets with my husband on which clips will make it to The Soup.
Also, I see no reason to limit randomness to Tuesdays. My whole life is random. Hence the name of my blog. lol.
Seriously, one day I will wear a white button down blouse to work and look all professional and stuff. The next, I will wear a t-shirt with a handgun and the saying "The first choice in feminine protection." I can't help myself.
Hooray for sky-diving! And I watched 'He's just not that into you' at the weekend too - funny because it's sadly true!
I don't get Twitter, either. I tried, I really did.
I also don't get chick flicks.
i can't watch QVC - i always end up buying something. i'm gullible.
So that's where that 6 pounds came from...thanks for clearing that up!
Twitter tutorial would be nice... I feel lost in a sea of twits whenever I'm on there...which is rare.
I've had the same thoughts about eyesight and lasik - are you sure we aren't long-lost sisters?
I have a stack of chick flick's waiting to be watched...I suppose I better get some action ones so hubby and I can have some balance. ;)
Happy RTT! :)
I have never watched QVC. I am cheap and everything there seems really expensive for what it is.
I had lasik surgery a few years ago, I definitely recommend it. It is amazing to suddenly be able to see. If you are going to do it, remember, eye surgery is not the arena to be cheap. There are a couple of doctors that advertise that they have the cheapest prices. Not sure that is a selling point when someone is taking a laser to your eyeballs. If you want more info on it, let me know.
Now I'm more happy than ever that I don't wear lipstick.
It would so totally suck to end up wearing glasses like that.
We have lots of Thomas trains at our house. They currently lurk under my son's bed.
I've been considering lasik for years, but yeah get scared off too. Ewww, on the whole lipstick random thought! Thanks for that -- I'll never look at it the same again.
I am also terrified of laser eye surgery.
OMG I've wondered that myself. Like, if I got thrown back in time and happened to be wearing my contacts, I would be SO SCREWED.
I'm not a chick flick chick. I would have been the one pushing Rocky.
I had Lasik. I highly recommend it.
At least, if they screw it up, they can do it again.
You might want to look into some toilet bowl cleaner with bleach. If you end up with glasses like that, we'll still read your blog! Stick around on Twitter long enough and you'll figure it out... I did!
i don't have the time for twitter. it takes way too much effort. i've got kids to not pay attention to, who has time for twitter?
also, my friend got lasik and she see halos around lights and she will for the rest of her life. she said it is still better than when she had glasses though.
I think it would be fun to skydive with Unicorns.
Twitter? I don't need to know that much about anyone I don't live with. Seriously.
And for Lasik, listen to Anne, don't go cheap. And don't go with "I've done 1,000". Make sure they are a real Opthamologist, and they know what they're doing (and what they're going to do if something does go wrong). I, myself, am too chicken.
I say go for the lasik...not that I want you wind up with glasses like that or anything but i know several people that have had it done and are very happy non thick eye glass wearers now!
You always crack me up and your RTT was no exception...
oh and 6lbs? seriously?
In one of the biggests ironies in life I always said I would take a wrong turn and end up in Idaho. So where do I live now? On the border of Idaho. Hmmmmm.
My glasses are that thick. And they are the lightweight plastic ones. I have double vision so I need special correction on top of my already bad eyes. Oh, and the bi-focals. Which they can't make invisible because of the double vision problem. Around and around and around we go.
Now I did a random comment in your post. Have I started a new trend?
I watch QVC to see their overly sprayed/teased hair and gaudy jewelry..lol
I liked the movie He's just not that into you. The dude from the mac commercials is a little hottie!!!!
I'm a little slow on the uptake today. It took me a few minutes to realize you were being intentionally random and I was mentally trying to connect the dots.
Not possible!
Fish eyeballs growing on shrubs might have indicated that the gatherer had also seen some mushrooms that looked like berries a few minutes earlier. I'm pretty much an anthropological detective of early drug use.
My husband had lasix and had complications afterward, and he still says his only lasting thought about it is, "Why did I wait so long??"
It's been a long time since humans were hunter gatherers. You've got the genes of some old mutant who was short-sighted but smart.
I don't get twitter either but each day there are at least 56 emails notifying me that I have that many more followers. Too bad none of them are Richard Simmons though God is following me as well as the devil...go figure.
Did you know that myopia doesn't exist in pre-literate societies?
(How geeky was that?)
But coke bottle glasses are SO SEXY. Really. Chuck would love them. I Bet.
But I think most people who were true hunters and gatherers in the stone ages or whatever eon they lived in... these people our ancestors never got old enough to have severe eye problems. They just got eaten by a sabertooth tiger or trampled by a mastadon well before their vision began to deteriorate. Well that's what I'm guessing so the genetics for bad eyes never was purged from the gene pool. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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