Ok, maybe not all of us.
I worry because people are strange, and they seem to be getting stranger. And for some reason, this week was the Week of the Wackadoos. First, there was the dentally challenged Ryan Seacrest. Then, today, the cashier at Stop and Shop.
“Listen to this,” she said as she rang me out. “My sister told her four-year-old she’s part Lebanese. A few days later the little girl asked, ‘Am I really part lesbian, Mommy?’ She thought she was half lesbian! Doesn’t that just kill you?”
“Mmyah. That’s a great story.”
On the way out, I saw a red blob running toward me. It was the cashier.
“Pssst! Honey! What was the name of the country I told you? Was it 'S' something?”
“What?”
“It’s a country isn’t it? The lesbian-sounding one?”
“Lebanon? The Lebanese?”
“Right.”
Stop and Shop, I think you might want to check your Ready Whip inventory. Whippets are the only explanation I have for someone forgetting the details of her own story in a two-second timeframe. And what if I'd said Syria or Scotland? Or heck, South Carolina?
Anyway, if you're having trouble keeping track of the minor details, too, I have something that I think will help.
Yes, I'm giving away numbers. There are two 19" x 24" sheets of decals per pack. They come in blue, green, orange and yellow. You can peel 'em and stick 'em till your heart's content. You can practice counting with your kid. You can keep track of how many tequila shots you’ve done or how many times you’ve told your husband you want to move. You can even keep track of how many weirdos you meet in a day. The possibilities are endless.
All you have to do is leave me a comment. **I forgot to mention that I'll pick a winner on Wednesday, so leave your comment by midnight, June 30, EST.**
The best part? Not only is this home decor giveaway open to U.S. residents, Canadians can enter to win too. But Lebanon residents? Sorry man.
(Disclaimer: Even though a number of companies have contacted me asking to do giveaways, I will only give away things I truly think you'd enjoy. Like the, um, Snuggie giveaway I had. You know, only cool stuff.)
35 comments:
You probably should avoid that cashier next time you're in Stop 'n Shop. She sounds like a whacko!
That is funny! I agree, people are getting stranger by the day! Luckily, we are all normal! LOL
Yeah....education in America at it's finest. Maybe that is why she works at Stop N Shop. You don't need to enter me in the contest.
Short-term memory loss can be fun for the whole family!
lol, I'm running off to tell my husband about the half lesbian family rightnow.
Sweet. I would totally put a 5 above my kids time out spot. Just to remind him of how long he is there. So he'll quit freakin asking me.
Ashley, I do that with my husband. He still asks...
How the heck did I miss a Snuggie giveaway? S'alright. I'll take the numbers anyway.
You must have one of those friendly open faces that invites those types of bizarre exchanges. ;) Do you ever wish you could just make all of your purchases online?
I will never live down the Snuggie Hit and Run, will I?
Was she the girl that Jay Leno asked who lived at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave and didn't know but apparently knew that Spongebob lived in a pineapple under the sea!
Maybe she has the memory of a fish!
Good thing she doesn't have a map. Imagine if she knew about the island of Lesbos?
And some numbers would be swell.
lkziegler[at]gmail[dot]com
Maybe you should send Chuck to Stop 'n Shop from now on!
What, lesbians aren't from Lebanon?
You could be the new pitchman for all things needed in the blogosphere. You can shout how awesome your stuff is and then should you find shouting a little too tiresome you could wear the headset like the sham-wow dude.
Best of luck. And may your wood floors always be shiny.
If you had responded with "Lebanon...but sweetie, it's a state not a country." That would have shorted out her brain for perhaps the rest of her shift. Or more likely, she'd have gone through the rest of her life believing it's a state.
Wow! a 2-second memory. I think I met some people in college with that same ailment. I don't think they returned the next semester....
The numbers sound awesome...I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
That is seriously funny. Strangeness is in the eye of the beholder, and I see nutjobs everywhere I go
I can't believe she forgot the name of the... wait, what was it again?
You always have such great stories!
YAY!!!for Canada, 1 Canadian entery? see the counting, Yep! I've love these for MJ! :)
do they stick to clothes?
ooooh pick me. I need to keep track of all the times I roll my eyes.
LOL! CUTE! I'm glad I'm not full blood lesbian or lebanese, whatever! LOL!
While you're giving away numbers, can you give some to my investment account? It could use a boost.
And maybe a few to the federal debt. Negative ones, please.
So how long do you think that cashier will embarass that poor child with that story. Cruel!
Would love some numbers for my 2-year-old who's number obsessed! "Un -- two -- fee -- pour -- pive," seems to be his mantra.
Uhm...what if you are in Lebanon, NJ? huh, huh?
Not that I am but what if?
heh heh
You do seem to meet some erm, interesting folk there in mulletville. Uh, keep 'em there, 'kay?
I guess I am a feisty goat this morning. I wonder what was in my coffee?
I may forget something 2 seconds after I say it, but I'd never admit that to anyone! Jeez!
I knew there was a reason I hated Stop & Shop. If you use the automatic scanner, you don't have to talk to anyone during check out (I'm just sayin').
I always thought my neighbors dog(or all dogs) would look cool with Nascar like sponsorship, and a few numbers slapped on the side.
Cashiers are amazing and unique! I bet she stored that up as her story for the day for all her favorite customers!! Poor thing just forgot a small detail!! Maybe she's like Dory!
Um, I think I'd change grocery stores and maybe even TOWNS. Actually, just find out if this woman graduated high school in youre town and then make your decision before you start school there with your own kid.
I'll count on winning - not even close to punny. Sorry. Thanks for including us Canucks! :)
This is for Mo. No, silly! Lesbians are from the Island of Lesbos, one of the Greek Isles!
I once had a Lebanese girlfriend. Her name was Roula. Sometimes I would serenade her, substituting her name in the song "Lola." It didn't last.
I'm not a lesbian or Lebanese..not that there's anything wrong with that, but I could use some numbers.
You meet the most interesting people at stores huh?!?!?
I would love to have these stickers to use in my daughter's room.
perhaps she was sniffing the permanent markers for too long...
and if i can use the numbers to stick onto people i work with as a ranking system of most favourite to least favourite? count me in, sister!
andy
I attract bizarre stories too. The day before yesterday the guy at the office next door to ours comes in bellowing, "I NEED A HANGER! MY SINK IS CLOGGED AND I NEED A HANGER!" I said we didn't have one, but her could borrow our plunger. "A PLUNGER WON'T WORK! THE SINK IS CLOGGED AND IT HAS TO BE A HANGER! I DON'T KNOW HOW THE SINK GOT CLOGGED! DON'T YOU HAVE A HANGER?!" Then he left.
I lead a charmed life. :p
I just stumbled on your blog this morning and I'm having a good time reading it. :)
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