To: Everyone
From: Rick in Accounting
Subject: How long does biscotti last?
I got some biscotti for Christmas. It's shrink wrapped. Does anyone know if I can still eat it?
____________________________________________________________________________________
To: Rick in Accounting
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: How long does biscotti last?
You're a fricken idiot.
____________________________________________________________________________________
To: Everyone
From: Shahid in IT
Subject: Internet connection down
We're experiencing a connection disruption. No one but IT can connect to the Internet. Please call with questions.
____________________________________________________________________________________
To: Shahid in IT
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: Internet connection down
Thanks for letting us know via email that the Internet is down. Dipshit.
____________________________________________________________________________________
To: Everyone
From: Maintenance
Subject: Trash pickup
We've had several complaints of office odor because of food left in personal trash bins overnight. Since the maintenance staff does not clean bins after 4 p.m. they have requested that no one eat perishable food items after 4 p.m. This includes bananas. If you need to dispose of perishable food items after 4 p.m. please take your garbage home with you. Or, if you have special needs that require a trash pick-up after 4 p.m. please discuss the matter with your supervisor.
____________________________________________________________________________________
To: Maintenance
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: Trash pick-up
I've discussed my special need for a 4:15 banana with my supervisor and she told me to stick my banana up my a**. And my husband won't let me come home with banana peels. What do I do??????? I need this matter addressed immediately.
____________________________________________________________________________________
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17 comments:
Boy do you work at a no-fun-at-all place. The coolest thing to do to get even with an irritating co-worker is leave a banana peel in his/her trashcan over the weekend.
Oh - I'm not supposed to hit reply? Crap.
My favorite:
Dear Boss -
I am unable to complete the project to which I am assigned, because the internet is down.
Sincerely,
Your Soon-to-be-Fired Employee
Reminds me of the fact that my cable company always sent me to the internet to check the status of the internet in our area.
Fun.
I learned long ago not to hit reply. Now I type emails with no recipient until I've had time to run through one of my handy dandy attitude detectors (ie. people with a whole lot less attitude).
I guess this falls under keep you damned opinion to yourself. I will add to my list of forbidden items.
I'm trying to stifle my giggles since my kids, husband, and dogs are asleep. The trash pick up reply will have me laughing in to forever.
Shahid? Of course it's Shahid.
Our phones are tied to the Internet at work - when the Internet goes down, I pee my pants a little! :)
That's why I don't have a job. I'm apparently too "inappropriate" to work for anyone so I stopped trying.
I know how your feel. Perhaps u should have encouraged the biscotti fellow to eat it just to see what happens to him.
23 Year Old Thoughts
A Work In Progress
I often have to pause when replying to an email, take a break and make sure that what I have written doesn't sound like it should be followed by "you idiot." I have revised a number of replies that way.
I don't reply at all coz I know it'll come out wrong and then everyone thinks I've gone home and put me on reduced pay!! :P
Those replies are awesome. I think I woul go personally slap the IT guys.
The banana problem is not a-ppealing at all
I would have told him to eat the biscotti, took a pic of his face and the aftermath, and then sent it around in a company-wide email with the same "fricken idiot" title.
But that's just my wishful thinking that old biscotti would create a fun and interesting situation.
Would that be wrong?
I look like I've been crying because I'm sitting over here catching up on your posts...I haven't laughed this much in forever, so thank for that! ;)
I LOVE your replies... you're such a smartass and I love you for that! :)
I will have to remember that. Do not hit reply...it'll keep me out of trouble that way.
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