Monday, June 15, 2009

Work email: Why you shouldn't hit "reply" right away

To: Everyone
From: Rick in Accounting
Subject: How long does biscotti last?

I got some biscotti for Christmas. It's shrink wrapped. Does anyone know if I can still eat it?


To: Rick in Accounting
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: How long does biscotti last?

You're a fricken idiot.


To: Everyone
From: Shahid in IT
Subject: Internet connection down

We're experiencing a connection disruption. No one but IT can connect to the Internet. Please call with questions.


To: Shahid in IT
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: Internet connection down

Thanks for letting us know via email that the Internet is down. Dipshit.


To: Everyone
From: Maintenance
Subject: Trash pickup

We've had several complaints of office odor because of food left in personal trash bins overnight. Since the maintenance staff does not clean bins after 4 p.m. they have requested that no one eat perishable food items after 4 p.m. This includes bananas. If you need to dispose of perishable food items after 4 p.m. please take your garbage home with you. Or, if you have special needs that require a trash pick-up after 4 p.m. please discuss the matter with your supervisor.


To: Maintenance
From: Mrs. Mullet
Subject: Re: Trash pick-up

I've discussed my special need for a 4:15 banana with my supervisor and she told me to stick my banana up my a**. And my husband won't let me come home with banana peels. What do I do??????? I need this matter addressed immediately.



Jeanne said...

Boy do you work at a no-fun-at-all place. The coolest thing to do to get even with an irritating co-worker is leave a banana peel in his/her trashcan over the weekend.

Keely said...

Oh - I'm not supposed to hit reply? Crap.

Dto3 said...

My favorite:
Dear Boss -
I am unable to complete the project to which I am assigned, because the internet is down.
Your Soon-to-be-Fired Employee

The Mother said...

Reminds me of the fact that my cable company always sent me to the internet to check the status of the internet in our area.


blognut said...

I learned long ago not to hit reply. Now I type emails with no recipient until I've had time to run through one of my handy dandy attitude detectors (ie. people with a whole lot less attitude).

Julia said...

I guess this falls under keep you damned opinion to yourself. I will add to my list of forbidden items.

Mrsbear said...

I'm trying to stifle my giggles since my kids, husband, and dogs are asleep. The trash pick up reply will have me laughing in to forever.

Lindy said...

Shahid? Of course it's Shahid.

Our phones are tied to the Internet at work - when the Internet goes down, I pee my pants a little! :)

Julie@Momspective said...

That's why I don't have a job. I'm apparently too "inappropriate" to work for anyone so I stopped trying.

Anonymous said...

I know how your feel. Perhaps u should have encouraged the biscotti fellow to eat it just to see what happens to him.

23 Year Old Thoughts
A Work In Progress

Anne said...

I often have to pause when replying to an email, take a break and make sure that what I have written doesn't sound like it should be followed by "you idiot." I have revised a number of replies that way.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I don't reply at all coz I know it'll come out wrong and then everyone thinks I've gone home and put me on reduced pay!! :P

Otter Thomas said...

Those replies are awesome. I think I woul go personally slap the IT guys.

kyooty said...

The banana problem is not a-ppealing at all

Crazy K said...

I would have told him to eat the biscotti, took a pic of his face and the aftermath, and then sent it around in a company-wide email with the same "fricken idiot" title.

But that's just my wishful thinking that old biscotti would create a fun and interesting situation.

Would that be wrong?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I look like I've been crying because I'm sitting over here catching up on your posts...I haven't laughed this much in forever, so thank for that! ;)

I LOVE your replies... you're such a smartass and I love you for that! :)

Suzi said...

I will have to remember that. Do not hit'll keep me out of trouble that way.

Man! There are a lot of holes in my neighborhood

Our young neighbors Bob and Claire are wonderful —which is a fricken relief because we basically share a yard. A flat, treeless yard. When ...