I think I am officially obsessed with this meme. I'm starting to look forward to Tuesday as a day to clear out the mental cobwebs, and I have this woman to thank.
I wasn't aware of how little I was paying attention to the woman who popped into my office today until she pointed toward my file cabinets and asked, "Is that an armadillo?" She was so certain, I had to turn and look. Turns out it was my overturned sneaker. After she left I made fun of her, but not myself.
My grandmother's mother-in-law was determined to turn her into a proficient pie maker. Even with the lessons, my grandmother botched them all up. When no one was looking, she’d bury the inedible pies in the backyard. I guess I officially know from where I got the "I suck in the kitchen" gene.
You know that commercial where the mom wipes a counter with a raw chicken and it’s supposed to illustrate how your sponge is a cesspool of germs and flesh-eating bacteria? That commercial makes me think of my mother because when she’s at my house—like she was on Saturday night so Chuck and I could go out—she uses my sponge for everything. Still, I never imagined this (she swears she accidentally brought it here after she did the dishes, but I have my doubts):
The booger is gone. The "walking?" comments have ceased. If it's true that once I blog about something it rectifies itself, then my next post is going to be entitled "My jeans are tight and I don't have a pool boy."
There should be a "I blog broke up with you because..." form letter. It would come in handy for those times when you think one of your biggest fans has just been MIA from the blogosphere but you stumble upon her comments on every site you visit and then it hits you, you've been blumped (or dumpogged, whichever you prefer).
22 comments:
That's a fascinating theory. I haven't had one single zombie nightmare since I started blogging about them...you may be on to something.
I'm off to write a post entitled "My lottery ticket is missing a few numbers and I don't have any chocolate".
Funny, as usual. I hope you're not inferring that I'm blog-snubbing you;. I've been super busy. Give me a break!
If you're talking about Pablo, he's now addicted to the Wii Fit. I may never see him again, but I hear the "trainer's" voice now.
I think I may have to check in on Random Thoughts Tuesday. As always, entertaining.
I think you're on to something! The minute I started posting 'my job sucks' stuff on the internet, I got a new job. Okay, my next post is going to require some thought now. Kind of like my own little cyber-genie.
An ass sponge? Ewww!
Nothing like being fresh as a cesspool of germs.
Hey what's wrong with using a raw chicken to wipe down surfaces? They're easy to hold and really slimey, it makes cleaning the surfaces so easy.
I totally hate that whole blog dumping thing! It makes me feel like I am back in the 10th grade again, and it's Greg Plante all over again...
And I think I need a blog post entitled "I am 40 pounds overweight and the men in my life are driving me insane."
Put your sponge in a bowl of water and microwave it. It will be clean enough to use until you can buy a new one.
Or be like my germophobic daughter, who uses a paper towel to wash dishes. She's her own ad for Bounty.
LOVE that idea of a Blumped! maybe mrlinky makes one of those?
I'll take the sponge over those damn Charmin bears pooping in the woods anyday...seriously, who needs to see that??
If you get the pool boy, let me know. I blogged about a farmhand and I am still waiting.
My jeans are tight, too, and I would never have a windfall from a dead, but really rich, relative.
I'm soooo poor and my mother-in-law isn't dead yet!!!!
I'd be happy to leave mean anonymous comments on the blogger who blumped you. Just let me know. :)
I just can't tell you how many times I've mistaken my husband's shoes for armadillos!!
And I hate it when I get blumped. It really ruins my day.
Blumped? Ouch! That's worse than being dumped on Facebook!
So, if I write a post about how I'm really overweight and need to lose XX amount of pounds...will it work?
Oh your blog does make me laugh... I just found you like a week ago or so, and am very entertained :) And quite like this theory of yours and am mentally plotting out a post entitled "My husband doesn't clean anything ever and I don't need a daily massage..."
You're always so funny! My jeans are tight too. I don't think it's from the chips, soda and chocolate I eat, it's gotta be from washing them!
I only have one contribution for your household routine...put your wet sponge in the micro wave for 1 minute..that is if you are having any doubts about it..or daily for that matter and it will vaporize all evil. But I am assuming that one got tossed in the trash or relegated to the bath room. I have icky sponge issues. That is psychological issues. But THAT is obvious already. aka cat post.
I hate getting blumped, it makes me want to binge on ice-cream and watch chick flicks all night.
Hmmmm... my next post will be "Winning the Lottery Was Better Than Expected .... And With My New All Chocolate Diet, the Weight Just Dropped Off".
Now I'm all paranoid about being blog dumped. Even though I've done it -- it is just too hard to keep up with all the great blogs out there. Sometimes it is like being in high school, this blogging. I've sometimes seen comments from "mutual blogging friends" on other blogs and thought "why no comment for me? Wasn't I good enough for you?" I really need to get over that.
This was a fun post.
The blog dumping reminds me of how I'm accidentally stalking someone because every where I go and comment she has already been there (except here, fortunately) and I'm paranoid she actually DOES think I'm stalking her.
Unless, oh my gosh... could she be stalking ME and just making it look the other way around by getting there first??
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