When I told Chuck I was heading upstairs to blog just now, he reminded me that I blogged last night too. Then he said that blogging two days in a row is overkill. Some days I feel like he's my manager—the kind I’d like to fire.
We vacuumed and cleaned tonight because Chuck’s having surgery tomorrow and will be spending the next few weeks in bed, and I don’t want to trip over dust balls as I tend to the patient. He stocked his man room with new DVDs and video games. He joked that he needs a little bell to ring so that I know when to bring him snacks. Some days I feel like he's a real pain in my ass—the kind for which I’d like surgery.
It’s a good thing I have health insurance through my job because I’d be really pissed if something like Chuck’s derriere bankrupted us. Things in Mulletville are unglamorous enough without having to explain that to the bank. “We were doing fine, sir, until my husband’s hiney started acting up…”
My mother is spending tomorrow night with us so she can help with Junior while I assess Chuck’s progress. She’s intent on calling him the Butt Patient instead of the English Patient. Some days I feel like I did something to piss off the universe.
I’d like to put the jokes behind us now and wish Chuck a speedy recovery. He’s nervous as hell, but I know the surgery will be a slam badonkadonk—I mean dunk. I love you honey, and when you’re all better, we’ll celebrate with a nice big toast. Of Metamucil smoothies.
Thanks, Un Mom. I'm glad I wasn't the only one with a Tuesday predilection towards posteriors. (Oh, come on. I'm trying to be mature about this whole butt issue, but it's hard coming up with eloquent words for anus. There I said it. Ew.)
23 comments:
Nothin' wrong with blogging two days in a row. Now, twice a day might be overkill, but not this.
Good luck to Chuck in his surgery and good luck to you as you deal with the after effects.
LMAO...loved your RTT
hope all goes well with chuck and his booty
To Chuck:
I've been there man. Best of luck with the surgery. Luckily my wife wasn't blogging at the time so I didn't have to worry about my butt making the blogosphere. LOL Remember, This too shall pass.(even if you don't want it too because it hurts.)
Someone, somewhere, is always talking about butt. :)
I blog every stinkin' day except sunday.
Good luck Chuck with your booty business!
Good luck with the ass surgery, Chuck! You'll do great.
You're completely ASSONINE, BUTT, when Chuck gets this BEHIND him, you'll both feel SOOTHING RELIEF. Good Luck Chuck!
Good luck Chuck!
Good luck Chuck with your posterior surgery. We're all routing for you.
Take care of Chuck's "butt crack." ;P
rear, back end, backside, behind, bottom, bum, butt, derriere, fanny, fundament, gluteus maximus, haunches, hindquarters, posterior, rear, rump, seat.... need any more?!!!
Best of luck to Chuck! And to you too!
I think the only mature word for anus is ANUS.
Try not to make too many "this ass is still broken, look there's a big crack in it!" jokes post-surgery.
So what did you reply to his statement that two days in a row is overkill? I hope you put him in his place...
Good luck! My husband just had back surgery and I was pretty sure the bell I wanted to give him would soon serve as the weapon of choice when I beat him....err Kathy Bates anyone?!?!
I rarely blog two days in a row, but I love that you do!
Good luck, Chuck!
Poor Chuck, he's the butt of all your jokes. Chuck I know what your going through, it's hard to be the SAHperson and have everyone wait on you, I know you want to do everything yourself post surgery. I know this. I know you want to help with the groceries and the vacuuming, and the cooking and cleaning and kidcare. It's OK, sometimes we just NEED to be taken care of. If Chuck is truely bored, he can resort to blogging himself. Also TAKE the drugs!and no the ceiling isn't a treadmill when they are putting you under it just looks like that. :)
Good luck Chuck! I hope it goes well.
Two days in a row is not overkill. It is just entertaining. Although you may want it as an excuse when Chuck needs to be waited on hand and foot. Actually, good luck to you too.
OMG, "slam badonkadonk" gave me my first laugh of the day! Good luck, Chuck!
Yep, ew. Good luck with the next few days. There are few things worse than a sick hubby.
I rectum he'll be just fine!
Hope Chuck's ass is feeling better ASSAP! :)
Thank you to all for your good luck wishes. They made me laugh out loud.
I need to remember to clear my cache when I have your blog open for several days...I missed a couple of posts! LOL!! Good luck to Chuck - from the sounds of your most recent post, it sounds like he's getting 5 star treatment for his butt... ;) Good luck to YOU tending to the patient while he's laid up...you're gonna need it! ;)
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