About me: My husband Chuck, our five-year-old Junior, our two-year-old Everette and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I blog at funnynotslutty.com and soggypuffs.com.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Random Tuesday thoughts: Looking behind
When I told Chuck I was heading upstairs to blog just now, he reminded me that I blogged last night too. Then he said that blogging two days in a row is overkill. Some days I feel like he's my manager—the kind I’d like to fire.
We vacuumed and cleaned tonight because Chuck’s having surgery tomorrow and will be spending the next few weeks in bed, and I don’t want to trip over dust balls as I tend to the patient. He stocked his man room with new DVDs and video games. He joked that he needs a little bell to ring so that I know when to bring him snacks. Some days I feel like he's a real pain in my ass—the kind for which I’d like surgery.
It’s a good thing I have health insurance through my job because I’d be really pissed if something like Chuck’s derriere bankrupted us. Things in Mulletville are unglamorous enough without having to explain that to the bank. “We were doing fine, sir, until my husband’s hiney started acting up…”
My mother is spending tomorrow night with us so she can help with Junior while I assess Chuck’s progress. She’s intent on calling him the Butt Patient instead of the English Patient. Some days I feel like I did something to piss off the universe.
I’d like to put the jokes behind us now and wish Chuck a speedy recovery. He’s nervous as hell, but I know the surgery will be a slam badonkadonk—I mean dunk. I love you honey, and when you’re all better, we’ll celebrate with a nice big toast. Of Metamucil smoothies.
Thanks, Un Mom. I'm glad I wasn't the only one with a Tuesday predilection towards posteriors. (Oh, come on. I'm trying to be mature about this whole butt issue, but it's hard coming up with eloquent words for anus. There I said it. Ew.)