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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It was like the adult version of when I spank the table and say, “Bad table” after it has given Junior a booboo—without the therapeutic outcome

According to Heather Whipps on Yahoo! News, yesterday (9-9-09) “represents the last set of repeating, single-digit dates that we'll see for almost a century (until January 1, 2101), or a millennium (mark your calendars for January 1, 3001).”

Great suggestion, Heather! I’m usually pretty good about marking birthdays and anniversaries ahead of time, but sure, let me flip through my datebook a few thousand years and make a note.

Hopefully by that time I won’t be wearing this anymore.



Isn’t it purdy? It goes so well with my surgical stockings and neckbrace. Well, ok, I don’t have to wear either of those, but I do have to sport the thumb guard for a few days. See, I wasn’t paying attention as I was getting out of my car after work, and I caught my thumb in the door.

Multi-tasking + slammed car door = pain

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the female passerby who saw it happen, dropped her grocery bag and ran over to inspect the damage. My thumb didn’t swell to the size of a watermelon and turn a grotesque shade of black, as she promised, nor did I need a doctor to drill a hole in my mangled thumb to alleviate the pressure, as she swore, nor has my nail curled, rotted or fallen off my thumb.

I really hope the woman doesn’t have children, or if she does, that her husband is with them when they fall, otherwise I’m guessing playground mishaps sound something like this:

“Oh God, Billy, noooooooooo! Your scratch will be ravaged by flesh eating bacteria that’s going to crawl into your brain and render you sterile while you sleep and then oh God next comes the coma you’ll be a vegetable, oh God, noooooooooo we must amputate!”

Understandably, I was in a pissy mood when I walked through the front door.

But that Chuck! Do you know what he did to make me feel better? He took a drive in that same car to get me some ice cream. Awww. And because he takes affronts against me so personally, he left the back door open and reversed alongside a cement wall at the ice cream shop and tore up that door accordian-style. Just to show that car who’s boss.



Busted car door + $400 repair bill = $0 in bank account

Isn't Chuck the greatest?

28 comments:

Kayleen said...

Eeek... he sure showed that car who was boss... I'm sorry.. men are... men.

Keely said...

Well, he went to get you ice cream. So my answer would be..."yeah".

But I'm easily pleased. And dislike car doors just on general principle.

Madge said...

at least that woman wasn't there to run over and prophesy to him about all the bad stuff that would happen to the car after it got smashed up... oh wait. maybe that would have been a good thing..

Brandy said...

oh wow. hmmm... wow.

Pricilla said...

Ouch on two fronts.

feefifoto said...

Bad car! Bad bad car! Naughty!

Kate said...

Geez, I thought I had a bad day. You win!! Congratulations Champ!

Suzi said...

Hit my laugh quota for the day. Thanks for helping keep me healthy!

A Mom on Spin said...

How did Chuck not realize that the door was open???

I say, spank Chuck just for fun instead!

Mad Woman said...

Well seeing as your hand is busted and about to turn all gangrenous and fall off and eat you, I vote you just kick Chuck in the ass for his "help".

heedpantsnow said...

Thumb slammed in the door...cost of a thumb guard. Door beaten beyond recognition by Chuck...$400. Knowing that you didn't have to listen to dramatic, over-exaggerating lady describe the car door smashing incident in overblown detail...priceless.

Maybe that thumb can get gangrene and you'll earn a few extra days at home to play with Junior when you'd otherwise have to be at work!! (I thought I'd take a stab at blowing it out of proportion a bit...and it felt GOOOD!)

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

You just had the worst day EVER! Sorry. I hope your thumb feels better soon. And if your Hubby is anything like mine, just be glad HE did it so you can always remind him that he isn't perfect.

Lindy said...

I'm sorry. Are you bitching because you got ice cream?

Check your priorities at the door!

Did I spell priorities right?

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I bet that door will never squish your finger again!

Staci said...

Aw, come on. He was defending your honor. Granted, there were cheaper ways to do it, but at least he showed he cared, LOL.

Did the ice cream survive?

NeCole@Eclectic Ecstasy said...

Booze! Head straight for the booze! Booze and ice cream go together well, try a mudslide or dreamsicle.

Julia said...

Say it isn't so. Bad luck. I hope the third shoe dropped, since bad luck always comes in threes right? Or is that just for the celebrity death watch?

I hope your thumb feels better soon. Hand injuries just hurt more for some reason.

marybt said...

Sounds like you had a SPECTACULAR day!

I hope your thumb feels better soon.

marybt said...

Sounds like you had a SPECTACULAR day!

I hope your thumb feels better soon.

marybt said...

Sounds like you had a SPECTACULAR day!

I hope your thumb feels better soon.

marybt said...

Sorry for the triple post. Why the hell did it do that?

blognut said...

Chuck rocks! It was really nice of him to beat the hell out of that car for chewing up your thumb.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Chuck is DA MAN! Way to go destroying the car door to defend your honor. And here I thought chivalry was dead. ;)

Hope your thumb is better soon! OUCH!!

FoN said...

So...what kind of ice cream?

The Mother said...

Oh, man. SO sorry. What a great double whammy that was.

mannequin said...

Wow. If that ain't love honey, I don't know what love is.

Dto3 said...

The more you write about Chuck, the more I want to marry him. What an awesome fellow! (We men have to stick together you know - it's code!)

Stacie's Madness said...

roflmao.