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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I'm all set with the month of September. Next, please

I slammed my toe in my office door.



I won't go into the gory details but it's bad. And here I thought I was on the mend after my thumb-in-the-car-door incident last week.

This time Chuck didn't rough anything up. He just handed me a box of bandaids. Meanwhile, Junior's been following my toe around like a stalker.

"What's that? What's on toe, Mommy? You have a boo boo? Can I have bandaid? Can I touch bandaid? Do I have boo boo? You have feet? Do I have feet? Are my feet big? Are Dadda's feet big? Are you big? Am I boy? Are you girl? Is Dadda man? Is Dadda big man? Does Dadda have big wiener?"

What??

Is it too late to change my mind about the whole wiener thing? Maybe pick something more arcane for when we're in public? Or should I go around shouting, "Yes! Yes! It's huuuuuuuuuge! I'm the luckiest girl aliiiiiiiive!"

Parenthood is so not what I expected.

22 comments:

Stacie said...

LMAO at your every word in this post. That was great! Oh how I love your blog.

Oh yeah, and sorry to hear about your door-slammed appendages.

Keely said...

That is...an interesting leap of logic he made there. Some days I'm glad all X says is "vroom!" and "booh!".

Lindy said...

So I was pretty sure you had actually written this post but when I got to the end and "it was huuuuuuge!" I realized that Chuck stole your blog from you and has started posting.

Uncool Chuck.

Trac~ said...

Awww... too cute and so funny! But I'm sorry about your big toe! Hope it heals and feels better SOON! Big hugs! :o)

Buggys said...

That huuuuge part was really about your toe, right? Great post. You always make me laugh which I mentioned on my blog the other day.

Brandy said...

It's almost like snoopy is mocking you.

Jenni said...

bawhahahaha @ yelling how lucky your are. yes, you should do this.

C.B. Jones said...

I nicknamed mine "Oscar Mayer".

Just thought I'd take this time to inform everyone, seeing as "wiener" was used in this post and all. It would be very inappropriate of me to mention it while commenting on any other post. I say the opportunity, and just went for it.

By the way, the snoopy bandaid looks cool. I could see it becoming a fashion statement. If Nelly(the rapper who thought he could sing, not the women with the same name who actually could sing) wore a bandaid with a cartoon or comic character on his face, it would have been the coolest thing on the planet.

I mean, other than naming body parts after companies who make processed food.

Suzi said...

You could always refer to it as his "Man Stick". Hope your toe feels better.

Julia said...

Happy days are those. Wait until Jr, by himself, gets like 15 band-aides and puts them all over his body and on places like his wiener...

kyooty said...

sorry about your boo boo (note the extreme spacage of those words so as not to confuse...)

doodle is easy!

Grand Pooba said...

LOL! Hmmm, I'm sure your husband would rather have you go about shouting.

blognut said...

I'm still waiting to hear you explain how, and why, you slammed your toe in the office door. :)

A Mom on Spin said...

But my. . .what a perceptive young lad you have there. . . he knows how to bring it all back around to what matters most! (To men, that is. . . to men. . .)

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Mrs Mullet...yours is the first blog I visited today and just laughed aloud!! You're amazing!!!

Frogs in my formula said...

Blognut, I was rushing to get the door jamb out of the door so I could get myself out the door and BAM! Toe smush.

The Peach Tart said...

Thanks for coming by my blog and commenting. I loved your comment so much I came here to check you out. I'm now a follower.

I love this blog. We have a similar sense of humor. I adore it when a post makes me laugh and this one did. I can't wait to come back for more.

I also have to comment on Lindy's comment which was hilarious and Suzi's comment referring to the wiener as the man stick. I'm so stealing that.

Mrsbear said...

I haven't had the wiener size conversation with my two year old yet, he's still in the I'm-fascinated-with-pulling-on-my-own stage, which I'm still worried he might never grow out of.

Otter Thomas said...

The torrent questions is hilarious. I was funny even before the big wiener made an appearance.

Leanne said...

Yeah. When my kid was little he asked my hubby if I had big boobs. Hubby tells me he answered 'huge' but I doubt it... I'm not sure there is a right answer here. Sigh.

Wait! There is! It's 'don't teach the buggers to talk'.

Jeanne said...

You just may be the funniest blogger on the planet.

Gabriel said...

This never fails to make me chuckle. I'm looking at this for comfort as I'm alone with my 4-month old for the first time. Not going well. He's asleep but unfed while i wait for more water to cool down. Think the first breastmilk/formula combo may have slightly poisoned him. Thanks for a well-needed laugh!