Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Forget "I love you." Today it's "I leather you."

Today is my three year wedding anniversary with Chuck. This year is the leather anniversary.

Mmmm, nothing says, "You still rock my world" like skinned animals.

In case you're interested, I thought I'd share the story of how we met. It goes like this:

In 1997, a boy named Pete had a crush on me. As we all know, crushes are often one way streets. I could never love Pete. His fingers resembled mini Jimmy Dean sausage links and he ate steak in a way that…let’s just say I could envision him at a steak house in 25 years with a gut that rivaled Mount Everest.

Pete is the boy I was with the night I met Chuck. And he knew Chuck liked me so he kept his stumpy hand across my chair all night so Chuck couldn’t move any closer to talk to me. Even more, when Chuck asked him for my number, he said no. So Chuck found out where he lived, went to his apartment under the guise of renting the spare bedroom and while Pete was in the bathroom, Chuck stole my number from his Rolodex (this was when the Rolodex was en vogue).

Chuck liked me that much.

Unfortunately, I had just graduated from college and ended a long-term relationship with some flaky eyebrows so I was on a bit of a man bender. A dating-five-guys bender.

When Chuck called the house (this was before cell phones, remember?), my brother left me the message: Chuck called. Who the hell is Chuck? Slut.

Little brothers are such gems, aren't they?

But he raises a good question, who the hell is Chuck?

I'll tell you: Chuck is incredibly patient, kind, loving and loyal. Chuck would give you the shirt off his back even if it was -30 degrees and he was freezing and he knew you were flying to Florida and didn't need his shirt. He's the kind of guy whose buddies get misty when they've had too much to drink and say, "That Chuck. He's such a great guy." He's a a party animal and ridiculously passive aggressive, but I love him to pieces. He's a hell of a good father. He still brings me flowers. He needs Odor Eaters.

I love him.

Happy leather year, Chuck.

26 comments:

Shana Putnam said...

OMG you made me cry, that is a great post! My 9th anniversary is in July and I wonder what year that is??

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary! I am a new follower of your blog and I have to thank you for all the laughs. Laughter is the way to do this life right!

Kerrie said...

Ah...what a sweet posting. Thanks for sharing. Happy Anniversary!

Brandy@YDK said...

happy leather anniversary to you! I think that was a very lovely tribute.

Christopher Jones said...

As a little brother myself, I can confirm that we are indeed gems.

Otter Thomas said...

Happy Anniversary! In a crazy bit of coincidence I wrote a story about meeting my wife today in which a left you a little something. It will be up later.

Lindy said...

Happy Anniversary!

Really - 3 years is leather? That could be really good....or really bad for you!

kyooty said...

wait Leather means shoe shopping?

The Mother said...

True love. If a guy persists his way through a judgmental older brother and five other guys, that's true love.

brokenteepee said...

Oh, Happy Anniversary! As long as it is not goat leather.....

The publicist just hit 27 years. I think that is caskets. I am not sure..

rachel... said...

Happy Anniversary!

(Doing the math on Junior's age in my head...)

So, this means you can pick out that new Coach bag you've been wanting, right?

Roshni said...

Happy anniversary! I'm still laughing from reading the two previous posts ('cleavage' was also linked back)!!

Frogs in my formula said...

Three Coach bags! One for every year of um, wedded, ehem, bliss...

Kate said...

Aww, another case of stalker turned true love!

Congratulations on being married to such a wonderful man!

blognut said...

OMG! I think I might love Chuck now, too.

Keely said...

Ha! My hubby would identify with that kind of stalking/persistence. He didn't burglarize any rolodexes, he just insinuated himself into my workplace. Twice. And waited.

And waited....

In retrospect, he MIGHT have mentioned something.

Keely said...

Also, very sweet post. Apparently my comments always have to be about ME.

I'm rolling my own eyes at me.

FoN said...

Awe....happy anniversary. That's sweet. Clearly you've never actually experienced -30 though, because no one is getting naked under those conditions. Seriously.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Very sweet. Happy Anniversary!

Unknown said...

lol...this is fabulous!
Happy anniversary!

Jen said...

That is so sweet. Happy anniversary to you and mr.stinkyfeet!

Stephanie said...

So cute!! Happy Anniversary my 6th was on the 14th!

Stacy Uncorked said...

Awwwww! Happy Anniversary! Chuck is definitely a keeper...as are you! ;)

Mrsbear said...

Awww. Chuck - restoring the integrity of stalkers everywhere. What a sweet post. Happy leather.

Julia said...

That is so sweet. :) Happy Anniversary.

Dto3 said...

The Rolodex is out of vogue? Happy "late" Anniversary, anyway!

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