Thursday, October 16, 2008

I've come to some profound conclusions while churning butter

When you have a significant other, you sometimes think he or she is nuts. Maybe you don't understand his predilection for aliens or the color saffron or his annoying habit of dousing everything—even tuna casserole—with hot sauce (I'm speaking hypothetically here).

It’s just the way it is. Sometimes you are able to hide that thought as it crosses your face. Other times? Mmmm, not so much.

Take Chuck last night. We were putting all the comforters I’ve purchased over the years into bags for Goodwill. There were eight bags. At two per bag that’s 16 comforters. He looked at me and asked, "What's with you and blankets?" The missing word? "Wacko."

I decided that in a former life I must have been very, very cold.

I also decided, after cleaning out the kitchen pantry an hour later, that in a former life Chuck must have been Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. It’s the only explanation for his affinity for gadgets that feature the words “As seen on TV!”

After I finished vacuuming, Junior preened the living room carpet for me. When he found cat fluff balls and pieces of lint I missed, he handed them to me and told me “irty.” In Junior’s former life he must have been a quality control manager or an orangutan.

I was almost done; all I had to do was get Junior ready for bed. (Chuck was doing the dishes—in the words of Billy Jean, “Fair is fair!”) I took Junior's shoes off and saw:

In a former life my mother, Linda, must have suffered from ankle asphyxiation. Otherwise, why would she have done that to Junior’s socks?

I encourage you to try the In a Former Life game. You can try it right here if you'd like. I swear I won't give you the funny freak look.


Mary Anna said...

Too funny!

I always laugh that in his former life, my hubs was a woman (and in mine, I was a man). He has a knack for floral arranging, and I have one for putting stuff together.

Marinka said...

In my former life, I suffered from serious wine deprivation. I've been trying to remedy it ever since.

thedavies99 said...

My mom cut my kids' socks too sometimes. Grandmas are weird about that ankle pinch I guess.

On The Verge said...

I seriously almost peed my pants reading this. You are seriously funny! I haven't had a laugh like that in forever! I will have to try this sometime with my crazy family.

On The Verge said...

Tag you are it! Come over to my blog and check it out!

Kate said...

Ha Ha, too funny. I've come to realize that in my former life I was the hateful corporate America CEO that everybody avoids in the hallways and that sits alone in her office on Saturday nights doing spreadsheets.

Mama Badger said...

I, too, must have been cold in a former life! Blankets everywhere! (or I whine about being cold a lot, so people make and buy me a lot of blankets).

In a former life I think I was a cat. Eat, sleep and be pampered. On occasion, carous around the neighborhood. Enough said.

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