ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The perfect holiday anecdote to waif models

Anthropologie made Christmas shopping so easy this year. As soon as their catalog arrived, I knew just what I wanted.

See, stores like Anthropologie really get average women like myself. They understand I don't want to see their products modeled on underfed beauties. Psshaw. That doesn't help me envision myself wearing it. No, I want to see their products on...

...farm animals!

Take this scarf. I love how it curls behind those big floppy pig's ears. Really elongates the face. I just wish I knew if it came with free grain or not.



And these necklaces? What better way to showcase them than on a smelly creature whose neck resembles an ultra hairy forearm? So regal. I must have them!



And the boots! So slimming. So chique. Seeing the leather against all that shearling helped me realize I could pull off my shearling jumpsuit + cowboy boots look for the holidays. I'll be the talk of the ball.

Thank you, Anthropologie!



P.S. Hasn't Anthropologie's Creative Director ever heard the sheep joke? You know the one...Why do sheep farmers wear rubber boots? (So they can stick a sheep's back legs into them. Prevents them from running away while they're getting screwed...)

P.P.S. Anthropologie did not pay me to write this post. Obviously.

11 comments:

Magpie said...

Thank you for the sheep joke.

Lindy said...

The whole time I was reading this post I was thinking WTF to myself so I leave you with my comment: W.T.F.

marybt said...

I don't get that catalog ... Did you make this up or are you serious?

Lidian said...

Yeah, because we all want to wear what the pigs are wearing down on the farm. Brilliant. Give that creative director a raise! A whole silo full. What the heck, throw in a few bales of hay and it'll be his Christmas bonus too!

[You're not making this up, right? Because, ugh...]

Leanne said...

I don't think we have this store up here. I think I'm glad.

Pricilla said...

No GOAT?! I would have modeled. I am a beautiful goat. I am!

Mrs. Tuna said...

Baaaa......

The Mother said...

Yep. That'll turn you off scarves, necklaces AND models.

HumorSmith said...

Talk of the ball? Wow....in all these years, I have never heard them talk. My johnson does think for me, however.

Keely said...

Sadly, I'll take that over the usual waifs and ridiculous hair/makeup.

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

I'm with Keely. I'd so rather see how it looks on a pig, it's more like my measurements than their usual models.