Showing posts with label I can't afford Anthropologie but farmers can. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I can't afford Anthropologie but farmers can. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The perfect holiday anecdote to waif models

Anthropologie made Christmas shopping so easy this year. As soon as their catalog arrived, I knew just what I wanted.

See, stores like Anthropologie really get average women like myself. They understand I don't want to see their products modeled on underfed beauties. Psshaw. That doesn't help me envision myself wearing it. No, I want to see their products on...

...farm animals!

Take this scarf. I love how it curls behind those big floppy pig's ears. Really elongates the face. I just wish I knew if it came with free grain or not.



And these necklaces? What better way to showcase them than on a smelly creature whose neck resembles an ultra hairy forearm? So regal. I must have them!



And the boots! So slimming. So chique. Seeing the leather against all that shearling helped me realize I could pull off my shearling jumpsuit + cowboy boots look for the holidays. I'll be the talk of the ball.

Thank you, Anthropologie!



P.S. Hasn't Anthropologie's Creative Director ever heard the sheep joke? You know the one...Why do sheep farmers wear rubber boots? (So they can stick a sheep's back legs into them. Prevents them from running away while they're getting screwed...)

P.P.S. Anthropologie did not pay me to write this post. Obviously.

I won't let that Halloween go! I won't, I tell you.

After years of dying a slow professional death at Mulletville Corp and then resurrecting my career through a series of part-time, freelance,...