Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Myah, probably not going to sleep much tonight

One day, a long, long time ago, Chuck and I took a walk on his friend's jetty. I was wearing flip-flops. I was drunk. I slid off one of the rocks and practically lost my big toe. Chuck carried me back to his friend's house, where they stitched me up with fishing line.

I told you I was drunk.

When I sobered up and looked at my toe, I fainted—and not because they'd turned me into Frankentoe. But because I have no stomach for body goop. None. Nada. Zip.

You can understand then why Chuck has forbidden me from Googling "scheduled C-section." He can't take anymore "Oh, gross [wretch...wretch] nooooooooooooo"s. He doesn't want me to have any more nightmares. I can't stop myself, of course. It's like telling someone who has a bulbous lump growing on her forehead not to Google "I think I'm dying."

So here I am the night before: well read on every aspect of the operation. And I do mean every. I've also got fond memories of my C-section with Junior, which included me asking the nurse if I was still alive because I couldn't feel my ribcage moving, thanks to the anesthesia.

Talk about freaky.

Having said all that, could you say a little prayer for me? Even if it's a silly, gobblygook prayer and your higher power is your kitchen drain.

Thank you.

18 comments:

Kat said...

Well, my higher power is *technically* the bathroom sink, but close enough.

Seriously though, sending positive vibes and general "please give her a doctor without a mullet" vibes your way. You'll rock it, I have faith. Best of luck...post gory pictures so we can all Google you later! :-D

Stacie said...

Sending all kinds of positive thoughts your way.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, my higher power is my laptop, and she sent me here. So I'm praying for you and wishing you the best, least painful experience possible. So very exciting, mama!

Gretchen said...

Wait, I've heard of the toilet being the higher power that people pray to when hungover, but kitchen drain???

Of course we'll be praying for you. Can't wait to meet little diddlydoo, even if you won't show us his face or any other distinguishing marks. boo.

The Mother said...

I shall keep my fingers irrationally crossed that all goes well.

Anonymous said...

Prayers and good thoughts for you and the baby...

Julia said...

Good thoughts and good luck for sure. All will be well.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine as long as you don't watch.

JoAnna said...

How excited are you????? I wouldn't sleep a wink either.

tootertotz said...

Rather than haunt yourself with google images of gross...go busy yourself on my blog around the time my Bub was born(4/13/10). Some of the posts may echo what you're feeling right now...or maybe not.

Hell...maybe you should dodge my posts like steaming piles of google image c-sections. It may just add to your stress if my neurosis rubs off and gives you more to freak the fuck out over.

Happy c-section and Happy NEW baby, NEW family dynamic, NEW reason to celebrate and NEW Year! Best wishes...prayers from our whole crew here...and smooth times through the whole hoopla!

Jeanne Estridge said...

Sending you love and prayers.

Stephanie said...

Can't wait for you to meet Diddlydoo!!

Bella said...

Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Can't wait to hear all the details!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

I feel for ya, babe! I'm sort of anxious about even trying for baby #2 because I know I'll be going the c-section route.

But best of luck, and take lots of pictures of the beautiful bambino!

Keely said...

Was thinking of you this morning. Give us all the gory details when you can sit up again!

SmartBear said...

Stop looking that crap up! Oi! I'm a bit late (what's new) but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and sending positive energy and thoughts your way in mulletville for a healthy and happy fam.
Best,
Tina

Twisted Cinderella said...

Love and positive thoughts going out your way! I hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Years! Here's to a fabulous new year!

Magpie said...

If my math is right, you had a baby? Happy new everything!

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