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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The one mommyism that makes my ears bleed



I know that's blurry, but can you see what it says? No?

It says, "Mominatrix."

That's right, Mom + Dominatrix.

Why did we have to go there?

I already blogged about how much I dislike all the mommyisms. I thought we would have maxed out on them by now but nope, Kristen Chase has written The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex. Allegedly, her book will inspire you to shake things up in the laundry room.

Know what would make my laundry room a whole lot hotter? If my husband actually did a damn load of laundry. Then, instead of hating him, I'd actually want to jump him. Or get my hair cut. It's a toss up.

Anyway, I guess the world needs tips from a mominatrix (gag) because, according to the May 2010 issue of Parenting magazine, "58% of readers say their sex lives are more routine than an annual checkup."

Giddy up spin cycle, giddy up.

23 comments:

Shana said...

Oh man, i laughed till I almost peed. I think you are so right about them doing laundry. That would be hot.

blognut said...

Doing laundry is foreplay.

Emptying the dishwasher? Now that is orgasmic.

Keely said...

One more book to tell us what we're doing wrong. Awesome.

Sheila Sultani said...

I've blogged about this same thing - why don't men realize, they wash a dish they get a treat? I guess it's like training a dog.

As for the blending of words, or portmanteau phenomenon, I HATE it makes me crazy - way overused - mominatrix - I pictured Keanu Reeves doing laundry while doing matrix style flips.-

SmartBear said...

LOL! That is funny. I checked out her blog once....I didn't really learn much I didn't already know. Then I thought, I think people just get passionate about something and making it THEIR thing. But yeah, tacking "mommy" on to something is not something you should do to just ANY word.

The Mother said...

I've got no problem with sex, or moms and sex, or women and sex, or anything involving sex.

But a guy who can do laundry turns me on, too.

Lindy said...

My husband does the laundry. I wonder if I did a load, he would consider that foreplay?

Mama Badger said...

So, how is this woman's advice different from Cosmo? Do we need her to tell us not do to it in front of the kids?

I'm beginning to resent all "mom" centered advice items. Hi, I became a mother. I didn't get a frontal lobotomy. I still know how things work.

Buggys said...

I'm happy to be through to the grandmom stage. They don't do that with grandmoms thank god because I'm so sick of reading the mommyisms everywhere. gramminatrix? Nah.

Julia said...

Please no more reasons for my husband to nag me about more sex. I guess I could show him some of those statistics and give him an idea of what normal expectations should be.

And on a second note...my husband does his own laundry on occasion and it does nothing to increase his sexual attractiveness. I just thought I had to let you know.

Pricilla said...

Dear blognut,
if the male person puts the dishes away the publicist cannot find them for a week.
You would think that since he knew where they were when he took them OUT of the cabinet he would know where they belong.
thank you,
Pricilla for the publicist who is still searching for her potato masher

Choleesa said...

any kind of sex which involves the word mommy is NOT sexy. End of story. While having sex, you should be wife, or woman, or slutty whore...but not mommy

Frogs in my formula said...

Wow, who knew such fun could be had with major appliances!

Loving Wife, Working Mom said...

Sex in the laundry room? He is lucky if after my day he gets any with me awake!

Cris Goode said...

Right there with you. Ew. Why did they go there? Who gets paid to think this stuff up?

Mad Woman said...

I'm with you. In fact, my hubby was lucky enough to just get laid two days in a row because he kept doing housework and yard work...all without me nagging. Giddy up, indeed!!

Leanne said...

Oh you are so RIGHT. My PRIEST told my hubby when we were getting married that doing dishes was foreplay. Hubby went out and bought a dishwasher. Sigh.

Small Town Mommy said...

Mominatrix huh? I think marketers are starting to really reach to impact the all illusive mommy market.

Jen said...

OMG Sheila's comment had me rolling! I just can't stand cutsy stuff altogether, especially with moms. Being a mom isn't cute, it's hard work. The ones who think it's cute are doing it wrong, they aren't worrying enough and they are obviously getting plenty of sleep. Maybe their husbands actually do the laundry which just makes me hate them more.

I need chocolate now.

SLColman said...

Oh man that is funny! Sick about the Mominatrix but funny!!

Catootes said...

I know how to have sex, and where is can be had, or where it would be fun to have.
Childbirth did not remove that function from my brain.

It did stop us from having sex on the living room sofa as frequently but there's always deck.

Mrsbear said...

The last place I'd want to seduce my husband is in the laundry room, which in our case is the cluttered, spider infested, suffocatingly humid garage. I'm okay with routine if it means sex in a bed. Although, if I'm in bed chances are I'll be sleeping due to all that laundry I've been doing. Full circle, no?

The Empress said...

Oh my gosh, you are so right.

That right there is true foreplay.