RIP you sons of bitches asparagus. We both knew when I bought you that I had no idea what I was going to do with you. Bake you? Boil you? Pick my nose with you?
Instead of googling recipes I let you die a slow and painful death in my fridge. In a word: vegecide. And now you'll meet your maker via a composter, right next to a moldy acorn squash. What you two do in your final hours is between you and your slimy pokey parts.
Ew.
26 comments:
Aw, poor smelly-pee vegetables.
What a shame. A veg with no life plan gone to rot. Just shows that the meeting with your guidance counselor might be worth the trouble after all.
i hate when that happens.
Steam them. They're good! As far as vegetables goes, that is.
I say, let them die a slow death. Asparagus are not meant to live a happy life.
May they rot.in.peace.
Roast them!
Just cut a bit off the bottom, add some olive oil, salt and pepper. Pop 'em in a 350* oven for about half an hour and you will love asparagus.
Now, I as a goat eat them raw.
I just bought asparagus. There's a good chance mine and yours are kindred spirits.
I don't much care for them either. My husband likes them though so I sometimes find them in my shopping cart. I just steam them and put a little cheese on top.
Poor asparagus - they deserved better!
Just FYI, I love steaming fresh veggies - any kind and drizziling Hollandaise or Bernaise sauce over them...and I cheat, I buy the Knorr package and all you need is milk and butter and it tastes like the Ritz! HONEST!
I agree with Pricilla. My pickiest eater will eat roasted asparagus. It tastes like potato chips.
I like asparagus.
It's the snow peas that generally rot in my frig.
I heard that's the number one leading cause of death for asparagus.
Give it to the goat, I say! Or the compost heap. Humans were never intended to eat that stuff!
I've done the EXACT same thing asparagus.
Only mine met it's maker right next to the moldy zucchini.
I have no clue what do do with asparagus either.
Even when you cook 'em according to recipe they never turn out good anyway. They deserved to die...
Amen. Vent your asparagus hate.
In your defense asparagus goes bad pretty fast. If its slimy I won't touch it. Gurg. They also taste like twigs...cause I munch on those all the time...
Next time grill them; if they go bad before you can do that, then compost them.
That happens a lot in my house. Vegetables enter my house to die.
I live with a vegetarian...and we still manage to have rotting veggies! We loved grilled asparagus with garlic toast!
I do the olive oil, garlic and kosher salt, but I broil it... YUM!!!
Love how you wrote this post... so great!
I have half a cauliflower that could join them. It's got fuzz on it.
My adult stepson comes over, opens the fridge and says, "What are you going to do with this _____?" and I say, "Oh, I was planning on leaving it in there until it grows fur. Help yourself."
They would have died a slow death in my fridge, too. Only hubby would have been horrified over that! ;)
Asparagus is super delicious and makes your pee funky. What more can you ask from a vegetable?
hilarious!
honestly, there's nothing worse than finding a surprise bunch of asparagus that expired in the back of the fridge. i mean, it seemed so promising when you're shopping and being all healthy and whatnot. it's a shame when low blood sugar prompts the purchase of vegetables instead of chips and swiss cake rolls.
Post a Comment