About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Underwear Chronicles
Grrr. It's Tuesday.
I'm feeling sickish. When I looked up my symptoms on the Internet, I found a site called the Symptom Checker. Their web address is symptoms.wrongdiagnosis.com.
At least they're honest.
How many pairs of underwear is it normal to own? I counted my underwear (oh quiet, I was cleaning out my top drawer) and I had 82 pairs. Is that, um, the usual amount of underwear to own or do I have issues?
We're going on a boat tour of the Thimble Islands for my friend's 35 birthday in a few weeks. We get to bring our own food and drinks and watch the sunset. Listening to gulls while eating a weenie and slugging red wine seems idyllic. It makes me think of my own 35th birthday, for which I was covered in vomit and dabbling in suppositories.
Oh wait, no it doesn't.
I wish Athleta had never started sending me their catalogs. I want everything they make, including their asscheeks.
I'm finally embracing my curly hair. I'm going to ween myself off the blow dryer. Using a 1875-watt hairdryer for 12 minutes a day equals more than 500 lb of CO2 emissions annually. But honestly, that's not why I'm quitting it. I'm tired of pissing away 20 minutes every other morning so I can have straight hair. I work in Mulletville for fuck's sake.
Should I also embrace the tankini? It seems inevitable.
Did you know that a blog with 15,000 visits a month has a yearly CO2 emissions of 8 lb? Since I get 18 visits a month I'm in the clear, but if you're up there with Dooce or Schmooce or Lickagoose, this company will plant a tree on behalf of your blog if you click this link.
Be honest. You're dying to go count your underwear, aren't you?