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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts: The countdown

randomtuesday

You'd think after taking a few days off from blogging I'd feel refreshed. Instead I keep looking at that horse picture from my last post and feeling, well, ew.

Since I wasn't blogging over the weekend, I had plenty of time to make cupcakes for my dad's birthday.



Mmmm, right? If you want the recipe, I have to forewarn you: It's not for amateur bakers. It takes real finesse to craft a crumbly cupcake that won't hold frosting. And look, achieving that "this is so greasy how can I possibly be choking on it?" surprise ending is no easy feat. But go ahead, ask me for the recipe. I dare you.

Yesterday was Women's Day. I wasn't sure how to celebrate it. I felt like I should do something involving my vagina, but I couldn't find any listings on CTcalendar for vagina-themed events in Mulletville. That was really disappointing.



I stole a Time Out New York for Kids magazine from my doctor's office. I felt kind of bad stealing it. The magazine was a hot news item in the local newspaper: "Mulletville doctor has urban literature."

According to the magazine's Back Talk section—"advice from a mom (Antonia Kidd) who knows everything"—evil walks among us. It's none other than Frenemom. Gasp! Yes! Frenemom is a frenemy (friend + enemy) who's also a mom. Hold me.

Are you as sick as I am of words that have morphed with "mom" lately? Every time I turn around someone's birthed a cute new mommyism. It makes me want to gouge my momballs out with a hot poker—or at least set fire to my momputer. What the momfuck?

Five months ago, I wrote that if nothing in my life had changed and I was still whining, I’d stop blogging. I have one month to make some serious changes. Unless Frenemom gets me first. Maybe I can ward her off with my dastardly momcakes. I mean cupmoms. Shit, I mean cupcakes.

24 comments:

Sara said...

I've never heard of frenemom. Interesting. Thank you for giving me a label for a certain mom friend in my life. :D Your blog is the perfect public service. ;)

The Mother said...

I know some frenemoms. They usually have bratokids.

kyooty said...

this is a new one frenemom? luckily this never happens here.I wonder if my kids are really THAT unpopular?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I've never heard of frenemom either. And the other momisms you came up with? mombrilliant. ;)

I can hardly ever never resist a dare. Recipe, please. :)

Yesterday was "Women's Day"? How in the hell did I miss that? I need to crawl out from under my momrock more often. ;)

Lindy said...

You can't put frosting on a pile of "anything" and then call it cupcakes. It doesn't work like that.

And I suggest you get it together on this blog thing. If it weren't for you I would've never seen a horse hump a stationary object.

I am Harriet said...

Haven't really noticed the morphed mom thing. I'll have to watch for it.

http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/03/half-of-all-americans-live-within-50-miles-of-what-how-long-would-you-wait/

Nina said...

I'm with you on this one...and I have to say that I think momservation is the worst of them...doesn't even sound cool.Frenemom? Sounds a little bit cool..

Jenni said...

OH, I don't know. You're spying on your kid's nursery school; getting turned down by your husband; dating your brother's ex. Those are some changes.

Jenni said...

And, PS you can't stop blogging because you are momtacular.

Grace said...

Whining, also known as kvetching, is a healthy attitude. My own blog is based on it. Don't you get really sick and tired of all those happy, happy, make lemonade blogs? And people? Snark rules!

Keely said...

My favorite is 'mompreneur'. Really?

I'm going to crawl back into my momcoon now.

VandyJ said...

We'd miss you. Who else would tell us about the totally inappropriate office presentations, going all 007 on the preschool and how wine helped the public presentation succeed? Keep up the bloggy work you momblogger you.

tootertotz said...

I hope you get your ass in gear b/c I would like you to continue blogging...really, my motives are entirely selfish. I'd love to continue reading your blog...and laughing.

And I'm totally with you about the melding of words and the 'mom-ming' of everything. If I have to hear another celebrity couple with their names put together I am officially turning off E News.

Oh hell...sorry I just outed myself as a gossip shit show watcher. I am a hot mess so you better keep blogging.

Buggys said...

Don't call it whining...you're entertaining the mommyblogger generation.

Pricilla said...

Hmmmm, does that mean I am a goatmom?

Life As I Know It said...

aw, don't stop blogging.

love the cupcakes...they look like something I would make ;)

Jen said...

I missed it too. I would have done something with my vagina but it had other plans, the bitch.

I have often wanted to steal magazines from my doctor's office but I usually get to read them cover to cover so there is nothing to steal.

Don't stop blogging!

Jen said...

Back after reading the referenced post. Seems to me if things still suck you should quit the job and continue to blog. Don't really know how that will pay the bills but at least you will have plenty to write about.

Julia said...

Uh? I must not be in the right circle of moms to be privileged to hear the mommy-isms. Well, maybe it's a blessing that I am not in the "in" mom crowd or something. I'll just stay nerdy then. Thankyouverymuch.

SLColman said...

Oh wow frenemom sounds really scary!

blognut said...

I don't care what your cupcakes look like - they were chocolate. 'Nuff said.

Mad Woman said...

If you stop blogging, I might have to hunt you down and force feed you some of those cupcakes y'all love so much. And then I'll set Frenemom on you. Momcicle.

Mrsbear said...

Listen, you. Your blog is for your whining, and if your complaints are always this hilarious and engaging, never stop. If you do, I will find your, hobble you, and chain you to a laptop. Keep writing. K?

I love "gouge my momballs". Then again, I lmao at this crossword clue the other day "fancy balls". = gala.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Heard of frenemy, not frenemom. I'm so naive.

I steal magazines from doctors' offices all the time. I believe it's my duty to help keep their offices neat and tidy.