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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Busted

randomtuesday

My brother Ted found my blog. I've only mentioned him in like, 35 posts, so I don't feel too bad. I’m not sure why it took him so long. Every time he comes over he gets on my computer, and the name “frogmama” pops up for the fill-ins. Somehow that eluded him.

He finally found it by searching the Internet for mom blogs in Connecticut. I thought he’d be upset by the intimate accounts of his past relationships, his noxious flatulence and the unflattering photos, but he laughed it off.

Phew.

About my last post: I really know someone named Squirt. He was a friend of my aunt’s—the one who wanted me to be a modern woman. He lived in a tent behind the town green, and when I was 16, he’d buy me and my friend beer. I think he wanted to invite us back to his place except it was, you know, a pop-up.

I don’t think you’ve truly lived until someone named Squirt’s bought you a 24-pack of Budweiser.

When I was in high school I used to hide my beer stash in a suitcase in the woods. One day my brother and his friend found it and dragged it back to the house. I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble if my name hadn’t been on the luggage tag. Minor detail.

We have water in our basement from all the rain, and Chuck has another #$@*ing kidney stone. He was writhing in pain last night as he ran the sump pump, so I gave him the biggest, nicest kiss before I left him down there and went to bed. I'm such a peach.

Mmmm, peach schnapps.

When I was 19, my friend brought me to a night club. It was my first foray into hard liquor, and it wasn’t pretty. I puked the whole drive home. When we got to my house, my friend carried me to the door. The spotlight came on and flooded my brother’s bedroom. As my brother tells it, he ran to the window because he thought the sudden illumination was Jesus.

Sorry, bro. It’s just me, a frog with a mullet.

23 comments:

Alison said...

Lol that he thought it was Jesus.

I like hard liquor over beer. Beer tasted icky. :P

Lindy said...

Damn Google. We always get found out because of google.

And also, I stopped reading after peach schnapps. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Shelly said...

My brothers don't read my blog. If my older brother did he may wonder why I've never mentioned him? Or maybe I did...once...and I'm sure he wouldn't like that post.

kyooty said...

haha so far my Brothers haven't found me or care enough to search

Angel said...

To my knowledge no one in my family reads my blog which is good because well, I don't want to have to explain it to them! lol.
I like flavored liquor I was never a beer person it tastes to yucky for me. Happy RTT!

Jennifer said...

HAHA! SQUIRT! I knew someone named Red but no squirts.

VandyJ said...

I like rum over beer. Peach schnapps is good too. Sorry to hear about Chuck's kidney stone--I feel for him-been there done that have the scar to prove it. Hope it passes soon.

Jennifer said...

sorry i got click happy and didnt finish my comment. Found you at THE UN Moms Rtt! Happy RTT! I woulda left hubby in tha basement too after such a good kiss and all!

Posh Totty said...

I think if any of my family discovered my blog, I'd probably have to delete it :O(

The Crazy Coxes said...

LOL......good thing you didn't go back to the tent with Squirt. The tent wouldn't be the only thing to pop up.

Good thing your bro is a good sport!

Happy RaNDoM!

Big Mama Cass said...

My hubbys name is Chuck too. Not Chuck too just Chuck. Oh you get the idea. Anyhoo... kidney stones SUCK. I had 14 of them. Ugh. Tell him I said "take the morphine!!" *nod*

Christy said...

haha, love your stories! I hope your husband feels better soon!

I am Harriet said...

Sounds like your brother could now be a regular.

Have a great RTT.
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/03/bloggers-internet-users/

Jude said...

My daughter follows my blog, the sons are just embarrassed and would rather not know how...

happy RTT

mmmmm, peach schnapps - always served as bridal shots at Pgh weddings!

Brandy said...

I'm kinda bummed he found your blog. does that mean we won't get to hear anymore of this crazyness?

mmmm. beer

FoN said...

Are you worried? If my brother found my blog he’d blackmail me in a heartbeat. I’d be serving him beer and making him a sandwich every five minutes under threat of him telling mom.

Yeah, I know I’m 36.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

My sis reads my blog. So I usually write under my secret decoder ring spy name.

Happy RTT!

Just call me Yankee said...

happy RTT. I am glad I stopped by. I am lovin your blog.

SLColman said...

Google gets you every time :(

Nanc Twop said...

Chuck has another #$@*ing kidney stone. He was writhing in pain last night as he ran the sump pump, so I gave him the biggest, nicest kiss before I left him down there and went to bed.

Ah well. Takes a few hard nights before guys who are prone to stones finally learn to drink more water and eat less meat.

Katherine said...

My brother has been given a link, but he does not come to see it I'm sure. There are people I know that I am tempted to give my site link to... and others I am keeping it from in a BIG way...

Buggys said...

I've never known a person named Squirt. I guess I haven't lived yet. Hmmm.

rachel... said...

Wait. Why was your brother searching for mom blogs?

Also, my first experience with hard liquor was similar to yours. When I was 16, I drank my weight in SoCo and my friend carried me home, covered in puke. I think she literally threw me in the front door of my house and left. My mom found me on the floor and thought I was dead. Not fun. Except for drinking the SoCo. That part was fun. Although, I've never been able to drink it since then.

Hi, Ted!