Monday, August 31, 2009

There's one in every family, plus, a giveaway

Sunday night. Five p.m. Chez Mullets. Cupboard is bare.

Mrs. Mullet: “Bald man-stallion*? My aunt invited us over for Sunday dinner.”

Chuck: Silence.

Mrs. Mullet: “Do you want to go?”

Chuck: Silence.

Mrs. Mullet: “Are you listening to me?”

Chuck: “I think I’m going to pass.”

Mrs. Mullet: “You’re married with a kid. There are no passes.”

Chuck: “I don’t want to see your aunt.”

Mrs. Mullet: “Why not?”

Chuck: “Because."

Mrs. Mullet: “Because...?”

Chuck: “Because she tries to kiss me. On the lips. Every time.”

Mrs. Mullet: “Bullshit.”

Chuck: “See?!” Whips out our wedding album. Thumbs to page gazillion. Points to this



Mrs. Mullet: “You can take a little tongue for pot roast...”

* So shoot me, I'm trying to make amends for my wandering eye.

36 comments:

erin said...

Actually, he doesn't look all that reluctant there! Ha! Just kidding Dude, if you're reading this. Or Am I?

Brandy said...

ewwww. old lady lips.

Lindy said...

Gotta side with Chuck here. Pot Roast just doesn't do it for me.

JW.BW said...

I'm supporting Chuck here too. Not for pot roast, maybe lobster though.
JW

mannequin said...

Even though a tungsten ring would forever remind me of Chuck and tawdry kisses, I want that free ring.

I'd choose the Womens 6mm Beveled Edge Tungsten Carbide Band. I tried to get your money's worth and come in at $120 but the ring spoke to me.

kyooty said...

Dome 18K Yellow Gold 2mm Wedding Band

is very pretty and since my original wedding band is broken, I want that!!! :) It broke 2yrs ago and I'm still sad aobut it, fixing it would cost more then this pretty little thing is size 8!

G-Man's Mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G-Man's Mama said...

I was thinking also that he doesn't look very scared.

The Mens Tungsten Carbide 8mm Brushed Dome Ring. Maybe the Lesser Half would actually wear that one.

brauner said...

As long as there was no tongue, I don't think Chuck has a leg to stand on. If there is tongue involved, he has my full support.

I'm all for this one:
http://tungstenringsonline.com/mens-6mm-tungsten-dome-step-down-wedding-ring-p-1833.html

Grand Pooba said...

Oh my god! Chuck, I don't blame ya!

C.B. Jones said...

Tell him to eat a whole onion in he wants to achieve kiss-proof status.

I don't want a ring(site wont load for some reason), just give me the money, via paypal, if possible, please?

Mrs. C. said...

Bite a garlic clove, Chuck. Guaranteed to ward off vampires, grabby fraternity boys, and kissy-lips aunts...

KJ said...

I love your blog...it always makes me laugh. And as a wife to a blading man...I can totally relate!

I love this ring....Womens Tungsten Carbide 6mm Flat Band

mo.stoneskin said...

Everyone has a kissing aunt. It is the sad and unfortunate truth. With those aunts there is often no escape.

Suzi said...

Kissing Aunt's are scary. I don't blame Chuck.

Do they have rings for $120 or less? Kidding, I found one. I like the Thin Tungsten 4 mm Dome Half Round Engagement Ring. Was that specific enough?

Staci at Just Bloggled said...

For some reason that makes me think of Stifler and the grandmother from An American Wedding. Must be really good pot roast if you're willing to share, LOL.

I was going to enter the giveaway until I saw they were all wedding and engagement rings. I think I might need to get a fiance first or at least a date. Any chance you'll be giving one of those away soon?

Heidibide said...

I love the ceramic woven ring.

Lip kissers freak me out.

Riley said...

Womens Tungsten Carbide 8mm Brushed Dome Ring $117.00.....love love love this ring and it matches my husbands ring. Got him a Tungsten ring for the wedding b/c i did not want to replace a platinum ring b/c he scratched it in prison. *****NOTE...He is a correction officer, NOT an inmate, hehehehe...yes he gets to go home at night.

Leanne said...

Tongue from an Aunt? Ewwwww.

I want to be on your side though so just tell him to whip his check around really really fast when she's closing in.

Now, I'm off to check out the give away site!

Mrsbear said...

That must be some damn fine pot roast.

I like the Womens 6mm Beveled Edge Tungsten Carbide Band. It would be nice to win since my finger's gotten a little "husky" for my wedding ring.

FoN said...

So - did he suck it up for the free meat?

And I like this one! - http://tungstenringsonline.com/womens-tungsten-carbide-8mm-brushed-dome-ring-p-2431.html

Am I allowed to post a link in comments seciont?

Storm, The Psychotic Housewife said...

I like the Womens 6mm Beveled Edge Tungsten Carbide Band.

And now I have that image forever in my head. Ick. Poor Chuck!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

HA! I love that he found that wedding picture as 'proof' of your Aunt, the Kissing Bandit...but he doesn't look put off what little bit of his expression you can see in the pic... ;) For a roast dinner? Suck it up, Chuck! :)

Coooool giveaway! Count me in! I'd love to get the Womens 8mm Tungsten Triangle Beveled Edge Ring... I lost my thumb ring in a shipping box a few years ago (it was too big and when I was carefully packing stuff, it slipped off my thumb into the box unbeknownst to me...) While I usually wear two-toned gold, I would totally embrace this ring! :)

Lorry said...

My husband is Danish and has a particular love of tungsten, and I have a particular love of reading your blog so this has worked out well. ("Tung sten" in Danish means "heavy stone." Or something like that.)

http://tungstenringsonline.com/mens-6mm-tungsten-dome-step-down-wedding-ring-p-1833.html

Ms. Salti said...

That kinda grosses me out... but it probably grosses him out more! How did it all go, anyway?

By the way, I really like the Womens Dome 8mm Tungsten Carbide Ring... enter me please!

Otter Thomas said...

There on a kiss hello program like one episode of Seinfeld. There is no need for such a program.

Jeanne said...

Chuck needs an uncle who likes to swat you on the ass -- just to even things up.

Dto3 said...

Chuck - remember, once your married with children, you've got to take it where you can get it.

Oh, and I want one of those wedding bands they make. I don't know what I'll do with it, but free stuff? Heck yeah!

1stopmom said...

What a really good giveaway because I lost my ring a long time ago. I really like the Dome 4mm Comfort Fit 10K White Gold Ring


latricia
admin(at)1stopmom.com

SLColman said...

Old lady lips!! So funny :)

NeCole said...

I love your writing--I always get a good slice of east coast sarcasm which I dearly miss since I moved to Caleftfornia. My husband doesn't have a wedding band, and I would love to give him the Mens 6mm Beveled Edge Tungsten Wedding Band.

Grand Pooba said...

Ooh boy, I finally found one!

Titanium 8mm Flat Comfort Fit Band Pipe Fit Classic Wedding Ring

I like flat and fat!

Jenera said...

I would LOVE the 6mm dome step wedding band. It matches my husband's and my poor wedding set has really taken a beating.

Oh, and I think there's an 'on the lips' kisser in every family.

Mad Woman said...

Oh ew. I have an aunt that does the same thing..but to the girls in the family. She's a bit..um..yeah.

I'd get the Womens Thin Tungsten 4mm Dome Band.

My wedding rings got stolen when my car was broken into, so it'd make a nice replacement. They have some niiice rings on that site!!

Leanne said...

Dome 14K White Gold 4mm Wedding Band with Milgrain Classic Ring

It's simple and lovely. I want that...and not the zebra dress. :)

rohit saini said...

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