First, thank you for making my lunch today. When we were sitting at dinner last night and I told you about my stay-at-home mom friend, Marcia, who lovingly makes lunch for her husband every morning, you took the clue and got your ass in gear. I could have done without the mound of mayonnaise and three slices of cheese, but I'll chalk it up to you being new to the whole weight conscious aspect of my life.
Second, you really were listening when I told you how Marcia personalizes the lunch each day by leaving a love note in her hubby's lunch bag and how I'd swoon over such affection. Your interpretation of said conversation was a bit lacking, however. Taking a bite out of my sandwich and leaving a note that reads, "Bite me" hardly oozes hearts and flowers—though you were consistent in your message. As someone in marketing, I can really appreciate that.
Let's regroup and try this again next week, shall we?
Kisses and donkey farts,
P.S. George's status on Facebook is "single." I'm just sayin'.