Thursday, June 11, 2009

Ooh Dan Aykroyd, you missed the biggest, baddest ghost between the sheets!

I just spent the last hour with a Cookie Monster puppet on my hand. My hand is hot and sweaty. I have finger cramps. But having Cookie Monster pretend to pet the kitties and eat Junior’s match box cars was the only way to get Junior to stop yowling, because Junior is sick with an ear infection and he is inconsolable.

And me? I spent last night hunched over the porcelain bowl with food poisoning. And now I am drinking sangria. Lots and lots of sangria.

Without fail, when Chuck goes away, things fall apart.

Chuck called late last night to give me an update on the filming. In between barfing bouts, I learned that he’s getting a lot of screen time. He and the crew (fellow ghostbusters and producers) have been driving to various haunted venues and since Chuck is the only one who can manage to stay awake to drive, they’ve been filming him behind the wheel.

Yes, tune in this fall to see Chuck driving a minivan of sleeping passengers along the I-10. You don't want to miss the part where he changes lanes...

Heh.

I thought maybe I could answer some of your questions about the Chuck-is-a-ghostbuster thing, and then we could put all this paranormal stuff behind us.

Way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind us. So, here goes:

Where in California is old Chuckie? What show is this for?
All I know is that he flew into Los Angeles. The locations of the investigations are top secret. The show doesn’t have an official title. I suggested “Thanks for leaving your wife alone for the week, dickhead” but I haven’t heard back.

A ghost-buster? Seriously? Maybe you should let him guest-post to tell the scariest thing that has ever happened to him. Yes, seriously, though I’ve been corrected: The proper term is paranormal research investigator. I have a feeling if I let him guest-post the scariest thing that has ever happened to him, I’d lose 75% of my readers.

Seriously your husband is a ghost buster? How cool is that? He really is. I guess it’s kind of cool, but I try not to think about it. Otherwise I can't sleep at night.

How does one BECOME a ghostbuster? Does he wear a jumpsuit? He’s been doing it for years. He got into it because he grew up in a haunted house. He doesn’t wear a jumpsuit—not even when I ask him to. I mean geesh, isn’t it every woman’s fantasy to have Dan Aykroyd ghostbust the bad ghosts in the bedroom?

Hmmm, can he do side work as a goatbuster?
Maybe. But it’ll cost you.

Does he have the beeping tools and everything? Oh...and the green light? He has tools, none of which I ever see because he's not allowed to bring them into the house.

So there you have it. We can all move on now and talk about my exciting life. I mean, come on, a Cookie Monster hand puppet and projectile vomit far outshine an impending television show, right?

Right?

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Murphy's Law in full effect. My girlfriend has a hubby that travels all the time for business and it is always while he is gone on an ten day trip that the kids have to go to the emergency room, she gets sick, appliances break down, etc. Ridiculous!

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

My husband travels and its guaranteed that something will happen when he is gone, like the trip to ER, my car breaking down and the best one was our neighbors house burning down. I hate it when he goes as I on edge all the time. (He has been gone 9 weeks so far this year). Oh and for soem reason my son punishes me when he goes.

Dto3 said...

The only thing more exciting that I can think of is a sock monkey and diarrhea! You go girl!

Suzi said...

Paranormal? Normal? Let's weigh the options. Paranormal wins. I love to hear about your life, but find it interesting that you are married to a "Ghostbuster". How does that happen. Hope you and Junior are feeeling grooovy soon.

mo.stoneskin said...

I was secretly hoping Chuck WAS Dan Ackroyd AND wore a jumpsuit.

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

That is really cool about your husband. I am fascinated by that stuff - although I don't know how fascinated I would be if it were my husband doing it.

Missy said...

Thats right! Your life is far more important, for you are the wife! The work you do is scary and tiring too, and you don't even get paid for it.

Missy

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

I thought Chuck was a stay-at-home-dad? Which makes sense that he's the only one of his crew with enough stamina to drive all night.

Hope the sangria cured all...

Leanne said...

Sure sweetie, let's go with that. I basically did anything I had to for some silence when my kids were toddlers and sick too. The ghost busting? I mean that's so last year, everyone does that. Pewsha. :)

Joanie said...

LOVE the title you suggested! I hope they consider it.

I also hope the sangria is doing the trick. If it doesn't stop the vomiting, it will at least make you not care that you are vomiting.

Anonymous said...

A man in uniform is a very nice thing indeed but a woman with a puppet is a far better thing.
I don't like it when the protector of home goes away either. I put my cardboard man in the window and sleep on the doorstep with a pistol. And play with puppets.

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Im a HUGE Ghosthunters fan so I would love to see your hubbys show. Just let us know where and when.
And I hope You and Junior start feeling better. And just for future reference, I dont think following food poisoning with sangria is a good idea. =D

brokenteepee said...

Hmmm, maybe your food was haunted.

heh heh

Keely said...

Here's hoping he doesn't bring his work home with him.

And dude, you GOTTA stop having Mulletville sushi for lunch.

Lori said...

Umm, does he know about the vommit? Because if he knew you suddenly had a Linda Blair vibe, maybe he'd come speeding back in that converted ambulance-mobile of his.

That's it. I'm tapped out of ghost references...

Kate said...

I certainly intend to watch the show whenever it comes out, so I can be all like, "Hey I know him! He had ass surgery!"

I have to say that if they were to go with your suggestion for a title they would reach a MUCH larger audience!

Mrsbear said...

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I can relate far better with the projectile vomiting than I can with the ghost busting. Ear infections are also my area of expertise, although I can't say I'd watch a TV show about it. :( Hope you and Junior are feeling better, every time my husband takes off for an extended period is usually the one time everyone picks to catch swine flu or ebola. Just the way things work.

Crazy K said...

I swear all the ish goes down when the hubby leaves the house. My daughter went all projectile on me when the hubby went to a baseball game and then nothing for two days until she crapped her pants while he was at the gym last night.

Cookie monster is genious though.
I mean all that sangria must have helped your performance, no?

Oh, and I blame you for the Ghostbusters them being stuck in my head for the past couple of days.

Lindy said...

Could the ghostbuster/alien thing have anything to do with his butt problems??? :)

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

Ghostbuster? Seriously? Does he do exorcisms? 'Cause I think my daughters could use one. . .

Anne said...

I am so looking forward to Chuck's show. You will have to let us know when it airs.

I hope you are feeling better. Everything falls apart here when my husband goes out of town. He was gone for a week and I spent more time at the pediatrician in the year leading up to his trip.

GreenJello said...

I would totally be paranoid and have to have Chuck put a holy water barrier around my house or something. I wouldn't want some of those... things... following me home.

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