Friday, December 12, 2008

Kathy Griffin, watch out!

The Snuggie people are sending me samples so I can share them with you, all the beautiful people who mocked the Jedi get-up while at the same time expressing a secret, hidden desire to wear one. Move over Furminator! I may not be sharing Prada and Dolce and Gabbana but by golly, the "as seen on TV" wares are still hot.

Something that's been on my mind lately: I haven't listened to Ani Difranco since college, mainly because Chuck and Junior are music hogs so we spend way too much of our time listening to Irish jigs and Raffi, but guess what? Difranco's a mom and she has come out with a new song about it. It's turned up on a bunch of blogs and 95% of the comments have been "made me cry," "how beautiful," and "it's simply transformative."

I guess I'm abnormal because my first reaction was ick. I tried to feel moved by the lyrics, but I haven't been able to muster anything beyond blech. I don't feel more beautiful because I'm a mother. In fact, I started to feel more attractive when I lost the baby weight and bags under my eyes and started to look less like a new mom and more like my former self. I mean that literally: not my new-and-improved mom self, my former self.

I want to know: do the lyrics below move you to tears or closer to grabbing the barf bag (or somewhere in between)? Be honest.


lately i've been glaring into mirrors
picking myself apart
you'd think at my age i'd of thought
of something better to do
than making insecurity into a full-time job
making insecurity into art
and i fear my life will be over
and i will have never lived unfettered
always glaring into mirrors
mad i don't look better

but now here is this tiny baby
and they say she looks just like me
and she is smiling at me
with that present infant glee
and yes i will defend
to the ends of the earth
her perfect right to be

so i'm beginning to see some problems
with the ongoing work of my mind
and i've got myself a new mantra
it says: "don't forget to have a good time"
don't let the sellers of stuff power enough
to rob you of your grace
love is all over the place

there's nothing wrong with your face
love is all over the place
there's nothing wrong with your face

lately i've been glaring into mirrors
picking myself apart

Phew. Now that we are done with those sappy lyrics, I am going to pour myself another beer. I took the day off so I could bring Junior to visit his great-grandmother in the old folks home and I am wiped. Plus, I am obsessed with Entrecard and I've been away from it for a few days.

I know, lewser. Big fat lewser. I know. But I have Snuggies and sexy reindeer boot pictures to share! Who's better than me? (Collective "everyone"? Yah, I thought so.)


Nicole said...

hee hee *giggles* Another hilarious post :) I need a beer, too. Thanks for contributing to my delinquency!

Dto3 said...

Sap, just a bunch of crap! That song's just for the mothers who let themselves go and want to have an excuse for it. Bunch of self-absorbed hussies. Don't they know their men want real ladies, like the ones that dance on the ice at the hockey games? Seriously, just take care of yourself and your handsome husbands who haven't gained a pound since you started popping out babies wouldn't leave your fat caboose for a trophy! Freakin' liberal feminists. . .

Lidian said...

I'm reading this before my first coffee and it's tough, I tell you. Never mind my first sherry (that's coming along later!)

I agree with you! :)

Keely said...

Yeah, I dunno....maybe I have to hear the song first but meh. Not doin' much for me.

I was pretty impressed with my body for being able to do what it did, but I couldn't wait to get back to my 'regular' self too. I didn't re-write my personality just because I'm someone's mother.

Frogs in my formula said...

Self-absorbed hussies? C3po, I am speechless! Laughing my ass off AND speechless.

Temple said...

I call dibs on the hot pink Snuggie!!! Oh, and if you hadn't given the intro info on the song, I would have thought those first few lines of lyrics were the opening of a suicide letter...creee---eeepy!

Jennifer said...

Well, it's not totally making me barf. It's always nice to have someone tell you there's nothing wrong with your face. I keep hoping hubby will one day tell me those romantic words "hey, there's nothing wrong with your face!" But it hasn't happened yet. (sigh)

Overwhelmed Mom said...

I will go to itunes to hear the song but I liked the lyrics . . of course I'm a little hormonal/emotional after the birth of my 3rd & final kid . . .maybe in a year I'll feel differently :)

Carol said...

Mirror? Whatsa mirror? I've trained myself to get gussied up while dusting. When I can see myself in the shine between the water rings, I quit.

Whiney Momma said...

I haven't heard this song live but I think the lyrics are okay-- sweet actually. I am not understanding the "glaring" part--seems a little psycho to glare at yourself in the mirror but some of the lyrics were okay.

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