Do you hear someone shouting from the rooftops? It’s me.
IT’S ME IT’S ME IT’S ME.
Look! There’s a little boy vacuuming.
He’s playing with the iPlay® Home Vacuum Cleaner. And the vacuum is blue. Not hussy Barbie pink.
I found this progressive lad when the Young Explorers catalog was accidentally delivered to my doorstep. I’m happy (enough to take a picture, obviously) but…
The copy says the vacuum sounds just like “mom’s upright.”
Come on. Young Explorers, I was willing to have your love child until I read that. (I still might be convinced, but it would take a lot of heavy petting.)
At least it's better than the Rose Petal Cottage Playhouse by Playskool.
Do you see what it says? Here, I'll read it to you:
“Every girl needs space to call her own…”
Is that supposed to be some kind of demented spin-off of Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One's Own? I really hope not. Because I believe Woolf was referring to the need for women to have a space of their own for self-expression, exploration and growth. Not—I repeat, not—for folding socks or baking muffins.
You rat bastards.
The fabulous marketing copy continues: “…and this fabric-covered playhouse gives little imaginations a place to roam free…and help little homemakers feel right at home. [You can even] slide the halves together to form a one-room dwelling!”
How fabulous! Nothing like instilling in your daughter a sense of domestic strangulation.
Mommy, Mommy, the walls are caving in and I haven’t added the fabric softener.
Playskool can bite me. They make Motrin look like Gloria Steinem.
Wanna guess what Junior's getting for Christmas? One Rose Petal Cottage Playhouse please.
Monday, December 1, 2008
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