About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Ahoy! I bring word from King Peckerhead
I was absolutely tickled to get a personal message today from none other than Ruane Nipple. Mr. Nipple and I go way back. I was delighted he reached out to me before the holidays. I hope and pray that his mother, Bertha Buttcheek, will be able to bring her famous fruitcake to Mulletville this year. Little Sammy Sphincter must be getting so big.
Imagine my surprise when Mr. Nipple neglected to give me updates on his darling family and instead wrote the following:
Show your sweetheart how much you love her!!!
Only today: CLICK HERE
His company. It was high time to get rid of him. A smile with mount. Now, said the general, dropping rapid travelers had the habit of regarding his consequences). From the vedic point of view, virtue of all these monsters and it was not without an.
Dammit! This man lied. He promised that if I turned off my comment verification setting I would not get spammed.
I must admit I am intrigued by this cryptic prose smattered with poor grammar and unfinished sentences. I want to know more about this fast-paced fleet of nomads dropping an unspecified substance. What could it be? LSD? Powdered sugar? And what’s with the vedic stuff? The vedic was one of the first White Star Line ships to be sent to the scrap yard in the 1900s. Did that upset the monsters? Were they spooky old sea monsters with four eyes that swallowed ships? ’Cause that’s kind of what I’m envisioning. Tentacles with suckers and fangs gnawing on rickety wooden boats as little seamen screamed for their lives.
Speaking of seamen, I’m sure you can guess where the “click here” takes you? Yup, a virtual candy store chocked full of Cialis, Viagra and EnhanceRx Capsules.
I don’t get it. Can someone explain the reason for the crappily written story? And while you’re at it, can you forward me the Nipples' new address? The Christmas card I sent to 456 Titty Terrace never made it.
I'm way behind on thank yous for the awards and mentions I got from some awesome bloggers (though they may be rescinded after that post), so here goes:
Thanks to Two Greyhound Town for these awards:
C-3PO over at Football said the "Most Freakin' Sexy" alum award was coming my way, but it never did. I guess he's still too busy on his back to get around to sending it.
She Lives gave me this awesome nod:
And I've been tagged with the Bookworm meme by My Funny Dad, Harry. That is next on my to-do list.
In the spirit of the upcoming holidays, if you haven't gotten an award please take one (or two, if you're greedy like me). When you post it/them on your blog (a) be sure to tell me and (b) be sure to tell everyone Mrs. Mullet gave it/them to you.