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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Finally, spam for women

Chuck just told me that today is Global Orgasm Day. Didja know that? Huh? Huh?

There's a whole website devoted to it, in which they explain that the day exists to "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy."

Uh huh. They also take donations. The currency is VISA, my friends, not um, a global moan. The donations allegedly support Global Orgasm for Peace. Holy crap, and I thought the Goodwill was important.

So get off the computer right now and support peace by schtooping your loved one (or whoever the hell you want).

But wait! One more thing. Did you hear about this?



Yes, according to Health magazine, a new drug called Libigel (ew, how unsexy) has helped women experience a 238% increase in satisfying sexual experiences.

Is that number even mathematically possible? I can't help but picture women rocketing through their roofs, shooting to the moon (note the black bars because this is a PG site).



The only thing is, who exactly told Chuck about this important day? It's not a guy conversation. I mean really, which one sounds more plausible?

GUY: "Hey Chuck, today's Global Orgasm Day bro! Pound beers! Yah!"

GIRL: "Ooooh, Chucky wucky, today's big bad Orgasm Day. Ooooh."

See, it's totally a chick line. And he did have that thing with a bonbon.

21 comments:

Eudea-Mamia said...

I had to double check the date of your post to make sure I didn't miss it - maybe it has something to do with Winter Solstice? How druid.

The in-laws just left, so I'll add it to the reason for celebration tonight.

And the whole Libigel (seriously, did they do a marketing survey on that name?), I'm going to hold out for a 239% increase in satisfying sexual experiences - I'm a diva like that.

I think this is the most informative post I've read in a while - thanks!! Em

Anne said...

I had no idea about orgasm day. Darn, I could have written a blog post about it for one of my clients. Too late now, the day is almost over. I hope you enjoyed your Global Orgasm Day and made the most of it.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

You are hilarious. But um, I also am very thankful for the post. Yes, I will take a serving of Libigel so that I too can shoot out of my roof in ecstasy. Is that prescription or available OTC?

Jay @halftime lessons said...

To quote Ron Burgundy:
Libigel? 60% of the time it works EVERY time."

Glad to hear it is Global Orgasm Day...means all my work today has not been overlooked.

Now if I could just get someone to join me.....

Mary Anna said...

Every time I "spam," I can't help but think of the movie "Singles." but, oh to celebrate this important holiday ...

Keely said...

Does Hallmark make cards for it yet?

Pablo Guero said...

No need to be suspicious of Chuck, guys talk about shit like that sometimes. I mean, it does have to do with sex and virility.

Think bawdy locker-room talk like "Yeah, I'm gonna get this and put in my wife's Wheaties. Heh, heh, heh."

You know how us guys are -- we're tasteless sex-driven idiots.

Dto3 said...

Dammit - I thought that was yesterday!

kel said...

Finally a holiday I can appreciate!!

ps love the blog!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I can't get over the graphic of the ladies shooting through their roofs!! DId you do that?

Frogs in my formula said...

I did do the shooting roof drawing. It snowed and I was blessed with some free time!

CaJoh said...

Stopping by from Mission Monday.

How do you quantify 239%??? I think that would make a great followup post.

Happy first day of Winter.

georgie said...

talk about learning something new everyday! who woulda thunk it...

stopping by from mission monday to say Hi-I like your witty blog!

jsprik said...

you made Mission Mondays FB!!! congrats!!! happy monday!!!

Dory said...

Hi there, I came over from Mission Monday and I bookmarked ya!

Dory

Tony said...

Thanks for the very insightful Post. I loved it. It also helps that this info comes from another woman, because it is very hard to get my wife to believe me on these things.Happy Orgasm Day and Holidays.

Julia said...

Yes I have heard about this but did not know it has made it over the hurdles of the FDA.. I had also heard about a testosterone based pill that women could take to increase libido. Thank you for bringing it to my attention so that I am prepared when my husband comes rushing home with this stuff to "experiment." Oh crap what next?

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

HAHAHAHA, that's AWESOME! I am going to break out some of my equipment and enjoy global orgasm day Wise Young Mommy style! WOOT!

Temple said...

Seriously? 238% ? Maybe I shouldn't automatically delete all spam...

Nicole said...

Okay, now that I've picked myself up of of the floor... that was great!


Love the picture! *giggles*

How to Party with an Infant said...

Libigel? That sounds repellent