ABOUT ME

About me: My husband Chuck, our six-year-old Junior, our three-year-old Everette and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Irate, incredulous wordful Wednesday



Did you read that? You really must.

According to 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great by Dr. Terri Orbuch, to resolve a conflict, a woman needs to gauge the ideal time to reach out to her husband—via phone or email (as opposed to the popular, face-to-face "You jerkoff!")— and make an appointment.

On the flip side, a man is guaranteed to get laid with a paltry "I'm sorry."

Thank you, Dr. Orbutt. I really needed a laugh today.

27 comments:

Lindy said...

Perhaps the problem with this doctor is that the word butt is in his/her name?

The day I have to make an appointment to speak to my husband is the day he no longer gets sex.

The Mother said...

After nearly 30 years of marriage, I can safely tell you that pandering to your hubby's whims (avoiding issues when he is tired, hungry, or has just come home from work) is a surefire way to end up chained to the kitchen sink.

Small Town Mommy said...

If I had to take the time to gauge the best time to reach out to my husband, we would never speak again. I thought it was information from the 50s until I saw the email reference.

dogsmom said...

So glad you see this as laughable, I thought it was hilarious!
Guess anybody can get "Dr." added to their credentials. Just pay the fee and do the seat time.

Sara said...

Wow. That is worthy of a laugh. Dumbbutt doctor. haha!

Mama Badger said...

I'm intrigued. What other advice does the "love doctor" give? Should we make sure that we're at the door in fresh lipstick with a smile to greet our husband from his long hard day at work? Oh, wait, no. That's dr. laura. Seems there's no end to the stupid advice out there.

Jenni said...

Wow. I've been going about this whole marriage thing all wrong.

Grand Pooba said...

Wow, Dr. Orblahblah is such an expert!

Brandy said...

boys are dumb.

NeCole said...

My husband and I agreed from the beginning that we wouldn't devolve into stereotypes or play stupid Mars/Venus games and that works really well. It's called being a grownup.

Beta Dad said...

This is great news! I love make-up sex. I wonder if I have to do something jerky, or if I can just apologize for having mean or impure thoughts.

Brandy--I thought the good doctor was a woman. (Could Terri be a boy's name? I don't know.) Anyway, she clearly works for the patriarchy.

Pam said...

Thanks for the laugh! Guess now I know why my first marriage failed...I never made an appointment to discuss our issues...LMAO

Pricilla said...

The publicist has learned after 29 years to just ignore the male person and do what she wants anyway. He usually comes around.

Lisa said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

Maybe I need to make my appointment at the Harp and Dragon.

Magpie said...

Speechless. And irate. Good lord.

Keely said...

I kind of thought it was one of those "1950s housewife" things, but no. I mean it is, really, but we're expected to take it seriously?

Note to men: Just apologizing and not ever following through with said change is a surefire way to get the locks changed the 2nd time around.

Mammatalk said...

Did you tear this out of a 1950's sex manual? Holy smokes!

Nanc Twop said...

Oh god.

Had to see what she looks like after reading that. I have no words.

Frogs in my formula said...

Nanc, that picture is awesome. Thanks for sharing. I heart you.

Jen said...

I tried to follow that whole make an appointment thing once and that was a mistake. It just made me more angry. I do think men would be better off if they just apologized and promised never to do it again. They are the ones who are wrong.

What do I know? I'm looking for my future ex husband #3 as we speak.

Still On The Verge said...

This guy can't be married!

Lydia

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Wait...did we enter a black hole or step unknowing into a time machine? Do I need to pick up some aprons and pearls?

:)

SLColman said...

This made me laugh!

Dugout Daisy said...

Reading your blog is always the highlight of my day... no lie. You make me laugh and suddenly the day becomes a lot better.
Undeniably one of the best blogs ever!
:)

jadenotjaded said...

She must be talking about his blow up doll!

SmartBear said...

If my husband doesn't want to listen to me, I just yell. LOL! Just kidding. This is hilarious.
What a dumb ass "doctor".

JustLinda said...

I think I'd rather take marital advice from this guy: http://twitpic.com/1jq5l1