ABOUT ME

About me: My husband Chuck, our six-year-old Junior, our three-year-old Everette and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I'm not regifting, I'm regenerating love



Lookie, lookie what I found next to the laundry detergent: an unopened box of Chocoholics’ chocolate “tattoo set” given to me by my mother, pre-Junior.*

How it came to reside in the laundry room, I have no clue, but it sure is a stroke of luck. The heat from the dryer has probably kept the jars’ contents from getting cold and crackly, which means I can whisk this gem right into Valentine’s Day 2009 and no one will be the wiser.

Yes! Think of all the post-IKEA fun I can have “tattooing” words on Chuck’s backside. Phrases like “let’s not make another” and “thank God for birth control.”

Or maybe, like the box suggests, I’ll use the “provocative” enclosed stencil sheet to write chocolately instructions on my lover (Chuck, that's you). Instructions like “Let’s go to sleep instead” or “Brush your teeth again, please, we had garlic for dinner!”

I'm kidding. Of course. I don't know how to cook with garlic.

*The woman wanted a grandchild, what can I say? That same year for Christmas, she gave Chuck this:



It also mysteriously ended up in the laundry room...

18 comments:

Joanie said...

Seriously? Your mother bought those things for you as gifts? LMAO!!! Not exactly subtle, huh!
Yup, that lady wanted grandchildren! I'd have passed out if my mm bought me anything like that. Even the negligee she bought me for my wedding night was extremely modest!

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Oh, that is TOO FUNNY! Especially since they came from your MOTHER! Hilarious!!!

Suzi said...

Funny Mom. She must have REALLY wanted grandchildren...ooops, a grandchild after the ordeal at IKEA.

When you get a chance come on over, I tagged you with the Honest Scrap Award.

Rachel said...

So funny!!! You mean folks keep their sex props somewhere OTHER than the laundry room, right next to the baby food???

♥georgie♥ said...

OMGosh!!!! to friggin funny!
I would have died if my mom gave me something like that and I so hope i dont do that to my beans-they would be worse scared for life than they already are...

Sassypants Wifey said...

Fancy, remind me to steer clear of your laundry vacinity, sounds sinister to me... bahahaha quite the collection of um, gifts. Funny blog topic though, nice.

Anne said...

Wow, your mother, way different from mine.

You have hidden surprises all over the house don't you. Maybe you should book out as a honeymoon escape (make a little extra cash). There are surprises in every room :).

nipsy said...

Roflmfaooooooooo... I guess someone forgot the art of being "subtle"? Nice ideas though.

kel said...

Oh my gosh... I love your mom!!!

mrsbear said...

The last person you want to think about is your mother when using the erotic gifts. That's just me. "Let's go to sleep instead." Now that's my kind of romantic night. ;)

Nicole said...

OMG, you are hilarious girl! My mom never gave me any gifts like that *giggles* Although... my mother-in-law gave me a lacy nightie--once--still trying to figure that one out.

Julia said...

You're totally crackin me up again today. Thx. J

Keely said...

You really think that chocolate would still be good?

And if it is, you REALLY want to share it?

Rachel Tamed said...

Your mother has a knack for providing wonderful laundry room treasures. Be careful with the chocolate though...I fear you will end up writing something more like "which one of us is going to wash the sheets?"

HeatherPride said...

Wow, so exactly what goes on in your laundry room? Not laundry, I'm guessing....

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I SO want some chocolate tattoos! No fair!

Kate said...

I think I would have preferred that gift than the one my MIL gave my husband. A blog she started just for his eyes where she questioned his choice of a wife and criticized him for becoming less like her. Yeah, she's my BFF.

Momma Bear said...

Oh my God you just made me laugh my backside off!

hilarious!