About me: My husband Chuck, our five-year-old Junior, our two-year-old Everette and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I blog at funnynotslutty.com and soggypuffs.com.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Why it takes 45 minutes to read a 10-page book
“Junior, this is Gossie. This is Gert—”
“—Is that Gertie? Where’s his body?”
"—It's drawn off the page."
"I don’t know, sweetie. Artistic license. Gossie wears bright red boots. Gertie wears—”
“—Are they gonna eat those bugs? What’s on his nose? Is that a bee? Is that a bumble bee? I don't like bumble bees. They eat flowers.”
“—Bright blue boots. They are friends. Best—”
“—FRIENDS! Are they gonna eat that sider?”
"Why they gonna eat that sider?"
"I'm not sure. Sssshhhh. They splash in the rain. They play—"
"—Are they swimming outside? Is that Gossie?"
"—Hide-and-seek in the—"
"They dive in the—"
"—What's that? Is that a banana? Is that two bananas?"
"—Shhh, honey. They're under water. You can't see their heads. Let's listen to the story."
"Why they under water?"
"They watch in the night. They play in the—"
"—Why's he yellin'? Is he yellin'? Is that Gertie?"
"—Yes. They're on the haystacks and they're talking. Ok? Now let's listen. Everywhere Gossie goes, Gertie goes too. 'Follow me!' cried Gossie—"
"Is that Gossie?"
"Yes." (Skip two pages) "Gertie followed a hopping frog—"
"—Why's he gonna eat that frog? Why does he want to eat that frog?"
"She's jumping after the frog."
"Because ducks are good jumpers."
"Ducks don't jump. They SWIM. You're silly. That's silly. Is that a duck?"
"Sshhhh. 'Follow me!' shouted Gossie. But Gertie followed a butterfly."
"Because she wanted to see a butterfly instead."
"Because she likes butterflies. 'Follow me!' shouted Gossie, as she followed—"
"Is she yellin'? Why is she mad? Is she eatin'? Is she mad?"
"She's not mad, she's just talking loud." (Skip two pages) "We're almost done, so let's listen. Gossie and Gertie are friends. Best—"
"FRIENDS! Read it again, Mommy? Read another story? Tell me a story? Mommy? Mommy? Can you talk, Mommy? Can you talk to me Mommy?"