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ABOUT ME

About me: I'm 42 and added another gherkin to our pickle party of a family. My husband Chuck, our 9-year-old Junior, our 6-year-old Everett, our toddler and I live in a town in Connecticut I affectionately call Mulletville Lite (aka my childhood hometown). My friends call me Nutjob, and they're right. In my husband's spare time he dresses up as a Viking and chases ghosts (and I'm the nutjob?). When I'm not busy working as a graphic designer, I lie in a ball in the corner.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

So what if I was felt up to Wilson Phillips' "Hold On"?

DysFUNctional Mom wrote a great post yesterday. She compiled a list of blogging don'ts and the top reasons people stop reading blogs. One of the comments really struck me. Someone wrote that she stops reading if someone never comments [back] on her blog.

I understand where the person is coming from. If you invest time reading and commenting on someone’s blog, it would be nice to have the gesture reciprocated. But I wonder if the whole commenting craze has gotten a little out of hand.

Of course, comments are fun. It feels good to get feedback, and on a good comments day, you feel you’ve been crowned prom queen. Comments make blogging a little less lonely. You feel validated. You have readers.

Yay!

Sometimes the comments are more interesting than your post, but let’s not get into that right now.

The downside of commenting is that if you get too caught up in it, it can start to feel as if you’re blogging for other bloggers and that your blog would be nothing without their participation. The comments can start to feel like the reason for your blog’s existence. You use them as a barometer for your content. Even if a picture of your kid’s turd on the sidewalk garners more comments than your touching post about your masturbating great aunt, Burty, the commenters have spoken.

Even worse, comment obsession can trickle into other areas, like Facebook (“Why didn’t more people comment on my status update?? Am I not funny/witty/beautiful enough?”) or home life (“Why didn’t you say anything when I said I did the dishes?? Am I not funny/witty/beautiful enough?”).

They’re a dangerous thing, those comments.

Having said that, after reading DysFUNctional Mom's post, I feel like I need to explain why I haven’t been around to comment more on people’s blogs (also a commenting negative: feeling the need to apologize to the blogosphere). First, there’s my job. I read blogs at work—on my lunch hour, wink, wink—but I don’t leave comments because I’m haunted by what I imagine would go down in the IT Department:

“Marketing Head? We’ve got a user registered under one frogsinmyformula. She’s gone to at least 50 non work-related sites. It’s attached to a Blogger account. Perpetrator is in quadrant D455. Permission to professionally obliterate?”

“Roger. Before you obliterate, publish the blogger’s posts to the company website. We’ll make an example out of her!”

“Roger. Uh, sir. There’s a post here about you and a frozen turkey. Permission to remove from site?”

“A frozen what? Bring me the offender’s head!”

Second, there’s my home life. Time after work is dedicated to one-on-one time with Junior, making dinner, hating Mulletville, catching up on laundry and gardening, reading mail, brushing the cats, more Mulletville-hating and rubbing Chuck’s feet.

Junior goes to bed at eight; oftentimes that’s when I get back on the computer to work on freelance jobs I’ve taken to help pay the bills.

So you see, if I’m going to leave comments, it has to be somewhere between 2 - 3 a.m. and call me crazy, a little rest would be nice.

Just a little.

Anyway, since I can’t comment as much as I’d like, I want to take this opportunity to say, “Hello and thank you” to all the fabulous blogs I read. There are some amazingly talented bloggers out there. Thank you, too, to the wonderful people who regularly comment on my blog and make me feel like I’m a pimply, promiscuous teenager again at the prom.

God, I was a slutbag.

The end.

23 comments:

Stacie's Madness said...

i stop reading when it's not funny anymore...and you girl...are ALWAYS funny.

kudos.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

yup! Well said, Stacie!!

Frogs in my formula said...

Aw, thanks.

Stacie said...

I love your blog so much. Seriously one of my favorites. I read ever post, but rarely comment.

I don't always have something to say, so I spare the comment. I don't leaving comments on blogs when I have something meaningful to say.

I stop reading and UNfollow blogs that turn into giveaway/reviews only. If I want to read a review on a product, I turn to Amazon :)

twirl unabashedly said...

thank god you linked aunt berty.

Pricilla said...

Aunt Berty was a good one.
I don't comment as much as I should either.
With all the cud chewing and SpokesGoating it's hard. And then the publicist is always complaining about all the work she has to do with us goats.

I mean really!
We goats are not work. We are fun goats. We hardly take any care at all.
Harumph!

Mad Woman said...

I try and comment whenever I've stopped by someone's blog, and if they then stop by my place as well, awesome. What I DO find hard is replying to the comments that get left on my blog. I am just too busy sometimes.

I'll keep comin' back to see ya...you make me giggle like an idiot.

Dto3 said...

I've been out of touch for the past month, but I still sneak a look at FIMF!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Well said! I couldn't possibly agree with you more. I end up with that guilty feeling when I get way behind commenting back to people that have stopped by to comment. My biggest problem is I tend to be too wordy when leaving a comment - like now. I need to figure out how to leave a witty comment without writing a novel. ;)

You, my friend, are the queen of comment wit - which is just a preview to the hilarity you throw out there in a full post. You'll always be at the top of my list, even if I don't comment on every single post. ;)

Brandy said...

thanks for the article link. I went and read up. And I'm REALLY struggling with the giveaway crap. I want to do them because i like free crap and i like giving free crap but then I'm afraid of running my "real" friends off.

Mrsbear said...

I used to get hung up on the comment reciprocation, but as I've fallen behind on my reading, writing, and commenting, I've come to the conclusion that it's not just ME, people have busy (real flesh and blood) lives outside of the blogiverse. What can you do?

Wait, unless it IS me, and people don't love me and everything I say is stupid and now I'll never be prom queen! GAH!

I'm okay.

I come here for the writing. Cause it's good. Almost better than cookies, I'd venture.

Sara said...

Can I just link this when I need to say sorry for not commenting? LOL I get behind too and feel bad, but life is life. :) Love your blog.

Magpie said...

It's a damned good thing I work in such a ridiculous organization that I am almost the IT person. Well, me and my assistant. We couldn't tell you a damned thing about who's going where and doing what, though we do jump up and down when they do something really stupid and infect their computers with viruses.

Anyway, hi!

tootertotz said...

I feel you, girl! And if Wilson Philips were playing, I'd feel you up...but only if I had the time.

Time...That is what I lack these days, too. I am working a miracle to even stay semi-caught-up with my google reader. I have probably dosed one or both of my kids w/ benadryl if I find time to comment.

I promise not to think you're an ass-hound if you promise to keep writing regardless of the number of comments. We're all busy and no one should hold it against anyone. Unless they suck, in which case...un-follow and close the browser!

Have a good one and comment at will.

Jayne Martin said...

Interacting with other writers through the exchange of comments is a big part of the fun of blogging. That immediate feedback is wonderful. But I don't stop reading a blog just because someone doesn't comment on mine if I really like their writing.

Keely said...

I know that's why lots of people have stopped commenting on my blog, actually. It's a bit of a revolving door sometimes. And part of me feels guilty, but honestly? If a blogger didn't entertain me or somehow invite me to say something in RESPONSE to their post, then I'm not going to comment. I very rarely "obligation comment".

But yes, as others said, I read your blog because you're funny and insightful. And of course there's the obvious fact that we were separated at birth.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

LOL! I'm wondering if I've ever heard the precise term "slutbag". I've heard ho-bag, but not slut-bag. did you make that up?

Sheila Sultani said...

I won't stop reading someones blog if they don't comment, but I probably won't feel like commmenting if I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall - I've got kids for that. It would be hard for you to comment on everyone's blog because your comment section isn't set so people can add their url - only if you have a blogger blog (which my main blogs aren't)- But, your blog cracks me up so I'll read it anyway

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I just thought my blog sucked and that's why you didn't comment. Go figure. You got a life like so many others out der...wowee. Dat's amazing! :-)

Your reasons are my reasons for not getting around as well. I'm not a stay at home mommy with time when the little one goes to sleep for his nap or to school. I work full time, then I come home and be a mom full time and then I pass out in a pool of drool. If I don't pass out right away I read blogs and wipe away the drool...

韋于倫成 said...

一定要保持最佳狀況呦,加油!!!期待你發表的新文章!........................................

Holly-- The Storm Chaser said...

Dang! I was gonna leave a comment in chinese but I see the person above beat me to it! Never mind....

MaryBT said...

I like my bloggers a little slutty. Blog on, sister.

marybt said...

Here's my thing about commenting. I thought about this last night a lot.

I love getting comments. But, at the same time, I realize I'm not really a "serious blogger". I mostly blog because I crack myself up when I do. And I'm probably usually the only one cracking up.

Sometimes though I read a blog and it feels like the "cool kids vs. the dorks" like it was in junior high. I'm sure that is more from my own issues than that any of the bloggers I read are snobs. lol.

It is nice though when I'm a consistent commenter if the writer comes to visit my blog once. But I only pay attention to that when I'm having a low self-esteem day.

I feel way worse when someone comments on my blog a lot and I look at theirs and it's awful and I don't want to read it. lol.

Shit, I ramble.